photo shoots? who? me? & and a little r&r!

mostly, we just hang out, enjoy the soft, green grass here, the cooler days (cooler than naples), family dinners, friends! it's summer time and it's so beautiful here. i wish i could bottle it up and send the cool nights to each and everyone of you...for a little break from the intense heat. hoping to make this a monster post...get lots in, so here goes...

while we are enjoying our time here, there is so much i miss about home. i think i miss sundays at the beach the most. coming off of a busy sunday with errands and obligations, i would love nothing more than spending a lazy sunday afternoon with a cold beer or frosty lemonade, a few kids safely snapped into their life jackets, a magazine, the breeze, friends, and just us being a family together, at the beach. no, i don't take those days for granted one bit. i squeeze every bit out of them.

with little pangs of home sickness setting in, it helps that we have been doing so many wonderful things and have so much more to look forward to this summer, i want to be home and here all at the same time.

i am loving that we have the opportunity to be here in the summer and with my beloved camera almost glued to my eye, i document so much of it. i have so much i want to share but not a lotta time or energy to get it all done before my eyes grow heavy and i'm whisked off into a decadent slumber. yes, i do love me some sleep!!!!

a few weeks ago, jeff and i took a little trip up north to this cool place, chrystal mountain-a resort and wellness spa. i felt very hollywood-ish, city girl going to the country, going to really cool workout sessions each morning and trying to eat a little healthier. very fun and relaxing and i did get to luxuriate at the spa one afternoon... even though i read the prices wrong and spent a little too much...much to my surprise AFTER receiving the treatments, i pulled out my credit card all the while keeping a straight, i'm-cool-i spend-this-much-every-weekend-hollywoodish-rock star,face-i walked back to the villa wondering how i would explain myself and immediately called a friend who instantly made me feel better, like only a good gal pal would do at a time like this. "heidi, i've done it before!" "it's okay, in the end, you deserved it anyway." "you work so hard..." by the end of the call i was ready to book myself another round at the spa-lol! thanks kell!

here's a peek at the spa...it was so beautiful!

would've taken more, but i didn't want to get thrown out of the place:)

my summer jenn!

and then we acted like kids the rest of the weekend...

jeff even did the moonwalk all night as a tribute to MJ.

we flashed peace signs all night because i guess we think it's really fun at the time...i'm not quite sure exactly!

and after mommy & daddy had some fun...the kids did too! we had a great play date the other day. i'm talkin' BIG waterslides, a pinata, food, and a kid-sized house to boot. i love watching our kids enjoy their summers together...

and finally, i did a few mini-shoots while up north. i had such a GREAT time doing them and i learned so much too!. posting these made me nervous, but i'm just going to jump in head first, because i think that's the only way to do something new...if your freaked out, a tad unsure, riding a huge learning curve wave of technology and excited all at the same time!!! here are a few that i took from each shoot...

beautiful caterina, her mom, and beautiful babies were so fun and so easy. it was hot and humid, but the kids just kept going and going! i love how fun the photos turned out. they really reflect how much fun we were having...

took this little guy a little time to warm up to the camera, but when he did, his smile was so genuine and precious.

this sweet girl was up for anything.

she is darling and shares a special bond with her grandma too,

which i love to see!

beautiful and wonderful mama, caterina.

next was taylor... love this girl. she is an amazing person...AMAZING! as well as beautiful, she is funny and i loved taking these photos of her. she was a trooper...about ten minutes into the shoot, it started pouring down rain. she didn't care, we just kept on going. we had a blast. the girl can not take a bad photo, but here are a few of my faves...

another gorgeous family- and funny and witty and all good things that come to mind...

in love with caity-bug!

equally sweet...big bro cam!

well, this may well be the longest post ever!!!

thank you all for the texts and calls regarding my gram. love you people lots.

xoxo

livin', lovin', and growin!'

oh, how i've missed this blogging 'thing!' i can't begin to even try to explain on here how busy we have been. it has been crazy with family stuff, baby showers, vacations within vacations, family and friend visits...whew. i am getting tired thinking about it, but we are having a wonderful time here!!!!

i think one of the things i most enjoy about being here is sitting around with the sito and gido (jeff's mom and dad) and watching them enjoy, love and dote on peyton and beckham! i love that in the morning, after breakfast even on a work day, linnie says, "come on heidi, lets do the dishes later. grab some coffee and let's go see what the kids are up to!" we will then proceed to the room where the kids dance or perform for us. i love how easy and slow things can be in the morning, and i love sharing my little piece of heaven with them.

one reason i have been so busy is...

my heart is heavy. maybe heavier than it has ever been. my grandma is sick. just writing that one sentence brings me to tears. it's like thinking about her and talking about her to anyone, makes me cry with no ability to turn off the faucet of salty tears. i debated talking about it on here, in fact, i thought i wouldn't, but my fingers just went there. i guess it's because i need to put it out there. prepare myself for other things maybe. maybe because this blog helps me face the truth and see the good in every situation. first, i have to say that i love my grandma so very much. we have always shared a bond that i found to be unique and extremely special. my earliest memories of her were her pretty face with bright red lipstick, pond's cold cream, cheese puffs, the hair salon, and mrs. grass's chicken noodle soup served up in a coffee mug-not a bowl! i am not sure why my sister heather and i thought that was so special, but we did and would ask for it each time we stayed the night at her house. if we were having a really great night, she would also make us a kraft single and mustard sandwich too! (i know...most of my memories revolve around food:).

she is the person that i have shared most every secret and thought and emotion with. through my teenage years, i asked her question after question that may have been awkward with someone else, but not my grandma. she is unassuming, open, and unfathomed by the craziest things. when she would laugh, i knew things would be okay. i learned that she was in my corner through good and bad.

before my wedding, my grandma fell and broke her leg. when she called to see if i could stay with her until she could get around...i jumped at the chance. i stayed in her living room for two month, fetching coffee, making tomato sandwiches (here i go with the food again), washing laundry. more than that...we had the most fun ever. we played card games, we had a slumber party every night. we would watch old reruns of the love connection the dating game. laughed together everyday and then cried when we learned of john f kennedy jr.'s plane crash. she helped me tie up lose wedding details and made me call off work one day because she said i would look tired on my wedding day (ahh...that last part about got me fired we really found the silver lining in crappy situation.

she flew to florida when i had my first baby...peyton mae...named after my grandma...colleen mae!

i could go on and on and on.

when i arrived home a few weeks ago...i knew she had had a stroke. i knew her diabetes was out of control. i knew she was a bit forgetful.

what i didn't know was how different she would look. still the same beautiful lady i knew...but just different. there was a time when she wouldn't leave the house without her hair done, make-up, nails manicured. when i approached her, i tried to hide my emotion and shock and worry, she cried. she said she was crying bc she was happy to see me. we sat together at my dad's retirement party and just listened to her. made plans to pick her up to do something fun the following week.

many phone calls to family and friends later...i though i was ready to see her again. we had a sleepover at jeff's house. my grandma stayed with us for the night. we had dinner, played poker (she's a shark), joked around. i found myself looking desperately for my grandma. at times she seems so like herself, like nothing is different. however, mostly, she is different. her memory resets every 20 seconds...she thinks she is younger than she is...she talks about her mom and her old puppies,...

she is slipping away. like a thief in the night, dementia is stealing our grandma away from us. she is being robbed of the simple pleasures that we all take for granted each day. she knows it, she hates it, and it makes her sad.i hate it. i am not ready and i am not ready to deal with it yet. i want my grandma back. the one who knows where she lives, the one who wants to look her best, the one that can have a dinner and remember what she ate. the one that can care for her beloved dog and herself without any assistance.

as much as i know this is life, this is what happens...i am not able to deal with it. it weighs on me day and night. it has consumed me so much so that i search the Internet trying to learn about new things or meds that can help her, praying for a miracle to happen, knowing that it won't. i am not feeling sorry for myself, i think i just need to come to grips with it. she is still here and i will enjoy her as much as i can.

she is so sharp sometimes and then the next minute...she is gone. lost and asking the same question over and over and over and over again.

she needs to live with one of us or move into a home...and those thoughts are haunting my every minute. i have taken her to the docs a couple time, we went to lunch yesterday and we always have fun. these are the things i am tyring to focus on now.

i know we will get through this. this whole process or experience is forcing me to think of the future. it's forcing me to see life in a new way, and as hard as this time has been for me, i have learned a deeper appreciation for living in the moment.

i stare at my kids faces, knowing that one day soon they will be adults. i know it will happen so quickly, that i run to them more often for a squeeze or a kiss, or to simply tell them how happy they make us, and how much we love them. i am reminded how precious this time is that we have with each other. in this moment. this month, this day, and this year. i cling to this moment because this moment, even with all the 'growing and learning' going on, this moment is so special. i love walking in the house and seeing little tiny shoes next to our bigs shoes. i love that i still get to serve drinks in big kid sippy cups and i love that i can just love up on my kids with no regard to as to embarrassing them infront of their friends. oh how i'll miss these days...one day. i know that by being aware of of how special today is...we will live a better day. oh, and if my future self reads this, and i know she will and i know what she will be thinking...'hey, teenage kids are special too!' yeah, i know all that and i welcome it with open arms, cause i know that's a pretty special time too. HELLO!!!!...prom dress shopping, boyfriend chats,...girlfriends to hate...LOL! can't wait!

with the passing of michael jackson, and all the other emotions, and real life...i am learning to grow, i think:) growing in the mindset of... this is life, it truly is what we make it. we do make our own destiny and it is a great responsibility and blessing to have that freedom.

to be honest, i am not going to proofread this. i hope it's not morbid or depressing. i meant it to be a post about growth and even if i am not growing today...i know it is happening. out of this kind of pain...growth must occur too:) i love this 'being real' stuff. writing this all down has made me feel so much better that i think i may go for a quick run. the weather has been perfect here and i found the most beautiful park the other day...i'm talking like deer five feet from our face, rolling hills, an old fashioned ice cream truck (bet your butt i got pictures...lots of 'em!), and miles and miles of wooded trails. heaven on earth and it's only 1.8 miles from here. who knew?!!!!

in times like this...holin' up in the house, watching a fluffy kid, make-your-heart-sing kinda movie and drinking a hot cup of coffee is just what the doctor ordered.

also, in between helping take care of my lovely grandma, jeff and i were able to take a three day vacation up north together to a really cool health resort. it was invigorating and beautiful and i will post pics of that later. for now...here are a few pics that i shot of my sister elaina's baby, my niece...evie...since i am trying to put my photographers skills to the test...i like to practice on her...

i could eat her all up...i nibbled her little cheeks, but i can't get enough of her!!!

some important things to blog about...

gramps' birthday!!!

and gido's birthday!!!

gido was in the hospital, so peyton was the nurse and took her job extremely seriously even finishing her shift by making peanut butter filled celery sticks!

peyton's favorite person/slave...auntie hi-o!

we love u auntie hi-o

my sweet little monkeys!

just feeling so blessed to be your mommy!

xoxo

missing my girls too! love you's!!!!!

enjoying...

in a previous post, i talked about my dad retiring and his party held in honor of this. here are a few more pics from that night. i want to get everyone in, because i think this is the first time all of these people have been in the same room at the same time in years!!!...all to celebrate my hardworking dad. he so deserved this.

i seriously want to eat this little one up...so does peyton. this is baby evie, my sister's first baby.

my sister, auntie tawny...taryn's twin! yes, two sets of twins in our family. both sets identical!

heather rocks my world for planning and making the party happen!

mom, auntie elaina, my bro-peter, and evie!

gramps!!!

grandma polleti...from italy. just moved to michigan recently. my kids are a little scared of her!!!

because i can't get enough of this little one.

...and my grandma who i love so much. she rocks...like seriously, she is the best, most supportive person i have ever known. period. she has been sick lately and has not been herself. i have faith that she will feel better soon. i need to kick her butt in a mean game of poker (even though she is the best card player i know)!

tonight, a couple of my sisters, me and our husbands met up for thai food, the BEST thai food 5 years running by the city of detroit...bangkok 96, and although it sounds like a thai truckstop, it's not. they have the best thai food ever and i look forward to going each year.

then, we decided to go have a drink at kelly's irish pub (naples peeps: think the polar opposite of mercado's irish pub). it is a hole-in-the-wall little, smelly, old bar. it was perfect. just the right spot for elaina and heather to have a polka dance dance-off...in the parking lot...BEFORE we had our coctails. it was stomache-hurting funny and just what we all needed to catch up. before we left, we all said we would never to return to the smelly hole-in-the-wall, but secretly i was attracted to it's oldness. we don't have much of that in naples. i hope to go back soon!!!

a few days ago, i drove to lansing, mi and visted kelle's sister, carin and her sweet girls!

oh it was so much fun. her girls are LOVELY, lovely, sweet, sweet, girls. i love them so much and had so much fun hanging with them and other family and friends. i loved meeting people i had only heard of in conversation between kelle and carin and the blogging world. i had never been more excited to enter a room of realtively perfect strangers bc i knew i would be meeting really good women. i so did.

i loved listening to the cousins remember old family stories and memories. i would hear things like, "really? i didn't know that." or "aww. i miss grandma and grandpa so much." some tears, but all good stories.

we almost instantly started walking the 'runway!'

we sat and talked, took pictures, loved on the kids...it was so comfortable.

barb...are you real? i love u.

we sat in carin's anthropology-ish, funky, cool home.

it is so charming and i can't b how much carin has done in such a short time. she has an eye for this stuff.

next morning...

and shopping in downtown lansing. love it there with it's vibrant culture and flower lined streets...

i adore little streets like this with little shops with hand painted open or close signs in the windows and little colorful brick buildings. i truly could live on this street. carin took us to a store called october moon and it was a perfect little shop that sold french and vintage inspired treasures, and when i decided on a set of vintage abs cards for beckham...they wrapped my purchase with twine and lavendar. oh yeah, i am a sucker for this stuff. i admit it. if i had bought three things, i would have asked for three seperate bags just for the twine and lavendar!!!! it's how i roll.

finally, we visted a gallery...

and met honora...she rocks. she just wants to talk about art and process-i thought she was so cool.

it was such a fun day. a great experience to meet honora and see her studio, gallery, and art. chat with my friends...talking about life and babies and other little things in between. having such a great time, that i think over and over how much i don't want to leave.

thanks c & k

xoxo

we are having such a good time here!!! love seeing my family and watching peyton and beckham enjoy the special people who love them so much. jeff and i are headed on a trip upnorth this weekend. i can't wait to take pics and share all of the fun i know we will have.

g'night!