random randomness.

i am blogging tonight with no clear plan or story to tell. very freeing. this is kinda fun. in the morning i will wake-up, enjoy my first cup of joe, cuddle with the kids and then it will hit me like a ton of bricks... i posted the night before, exhausted, listening to sappy feel good music, and with a nice coffee buzz going on-interesting blogging combo.

picture: slipper over slipper action while sprinting to my computer. hehe



lets start with the fact that i want to move into this store and live for a while!

i often fantasize that i will win some freakish contest and this store will pick me and 3 other people that i get to choose, choose any things that i would like to put into my house... for free! (or at an insane discount...we're talking like 95% off-you know, bascially free:) i know it's kind of a materialistic fantasy...but hey, it's my fantasy! it's kind of like fantasizing about winning the lottery, but better because not as many people would want to win this prize, therefore my chances would be much better than those of winning the lottery. well, that's my theory.

i am pretty sure i would sleep in the fabric department...i love colorful fabric.

all different kinds and textures. of course, i can't do a darn thing with them bc i don't use a sewing machine, but i adore them just the same and relish the idea of visiting a quaint little fabric store with rolls and rolls, and walls covered with the colorful threads just waiting to be made into something special.

i love romantic stuff too...ruffles, rhinestones...large buds placed in a creamy vases.

i would spend most of my time in the vintage and antique

departments because i have realized something about myself, the older i

become, the more i appreciate things with history...a past.

unperfect beauty of an old peice of furniture with

chips and cracks, made solid. made to last.

not so much that my house would look like a museum,

but just some touches here and there.

on another note: i think these aprons are soooo fun and different...

just sumthin' bout fresh flowers! yummy.

i just wanted to post this pic. i didn't take it,

but it's so new york street fair-ish.

happy we had dinner with gramps and sheilah before they left for michigan!

my silly guys!

lifting up furniture to vaccum , leaving the room for a sec and then finding her like this.

my kids are monkeys...i'm cool with it!

it's popcorn people.

i love that my girl is always wanting to learn new things.

we bought this for a buck at a garage sale-she LOVES it.

she's pretty good too!

this recipe rocks my world. it's SUPER easy and inexpensive. i always have the ingredients,

so it's perfect for last minute treats for get togethers.

they have been around for a while but i learned about them more recently.

no-bake chocolate oatmeal cookies

2 cups of sugar

1/3 cup cocoa (i use hershey's)

1/2 cup milk

1 stick unsalted butter (i didn't say they were healthy)

1 teaspoon vanilla

1/2 cup peanut butter ( i add more bc it's my favorite part)

2 1/2-3 1/2 cups of rolled oats ( i use quaker )

in a saucepan, combine the sugar, butter, cocoa, milk, and vanilla.

bring to slow boil and simmer until sugar has dissolved.

stir in peanut butter, remove from heat, and stir in oats.

drop mixture by heaping tablespoonful onto parchment. let cool.

they look like cow piles.

i've been thinking how busy we have been lately. we have been soooo busy.

we have taken turns being sick, and with sick babies come

late-night cuddles, urgent care, cold cloths, motrin in 6 hours cycles, pedialyte,

3 am calls to the doctor and

then hanging up and crying alone in the dark out of pure fear, exhaustion, and vulnerablity.

being more scared than i should have been and

knowing it is because i just love her so much.

did they miss something? how many more days can she run a high fever and be okay?

should we go the emergency room? am i being to cautious or not cautious enough?

should i take her to another doctor to be sure it's just strep throat?

then, more cuddles, more loves, more of all the good stuff.

the stuff that makes me happy that i'm the mommy.

I'M the ONE they want. nobody else will do but me.

i love that. i relish that. i eat it up.

peyton not feeling well and beckham wanting to make

her feel better so he ran over and laid beside her.

peyton rested her head on him for the longest time. yes, i melted.
so happy and relieved that my peyton is feeling better!!!

more to come later!

can i say the word 'random' one more time?!

xoxo

cupcakes.

i love cupcakes.


not just the taste of a well-made cupcake necessarily, but rather the idea of the cupcake.
in grade school, fellow classmates birthdays were usually celebrated with a
sheet cake-a treat indeed. however, every once in a while some one's parents would
make cupcakes. tiny little decorated beauties, yummy to look at and better to eat!!!

i'm not sure when i started to associate cupcakes with all things sweet, and pretty, and fun, but when i see cupcake inspired anything...i am compelled to pick it up, check it out-thank you notes, birthday invites, cupcake t-shirts, little girl cupcake pajamas. random thoughts i know, but the cupcake is an efficient little thing and deserved a little blog love!!!!

here are a few pics from our baking session last week: operation heart-shaped cupcakes!

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waiting patiently...

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mommy made a mistake and doubled the size of each cupcake...

but we learned that we like them better like that anyway!

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pretty random, huh? maybe my next post will be about shredded lettuce.

i LOVE the way shredded lettuce makes food smell healthy, even if its not..........

:)

all about love...

just thinking about all the things i loved about today and a few other days too...

-waking up and rushing off to peyton's soccer game and

watching her become more

confident with every kick of that ball.

-making a new tradition of going to dunkin donuts after

her game to enjoy the best coffee around,

while peyton and beckham eat 'sprinkled donut balls!'

-jeff taking the kids for an afternoon swim so i could take an afternoon nap.

-goodmorning hugs, kisses, cheek to cheek time with beckham and peyton...

yes, it is the sweetest thing i have ever encountered! his fluffy

cheeks he rubs on mine while saying mommy over and over again.

meanwhile, peyton runs over to get in on the lovins.

-purple roses, movie tickets, and a secured babysitter...

SURPRISE to me from the hubbster-thank you, jeff!!!!

-beckham saying, "happy vanin tine day, ma ma!" over and over again!

-peyton getting flowers from her daddy and exclaiming in her most excited and surprised voice,

"you made my heart super happy, daddy!" scouts honor,

i have no idea where she comes up with this stuff, but we EAT it up.

-happy endings to a sad movie.

-calls from my grandma and grandpa.

-finding old friends and picking up right where we left off even if it has been 17 years.

-telling friends you need them and they come running.

-seeing he's just not that into you...great movie!

-the past is the past...what matters most is today!

-a positive attitude just helps, and so does a good cry.

-my new lime green throw pillow!

-jeff and i laughing our you know whats off to jerry maguire...

help me, help you gets me everytime!

-a quiet house.

-my laptop.

-my new mac lush&lilac lipstick...love it!

there is so much more to be thankful and happy for but i will end it with these

beautiful pictures that this talented girl took...

xoxo

these are the days.

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when on any given day it's normal to find a fairy in my yard,

an angel resting in my living room, a baby brother loving his sissy,

a budding artist or two at my kitchen table creating a special peice of art,

constant daddy luvins', and these are the days when an acorn can create

fun for an entire hour!!!!

that's my baby!!!

yuppers...the time is here! she is old enough to play soccer on a real team. a real soccer player on a real team...like for real. like we get up early on saturday mornings, take a trip to dunkin' donuts, talk sports, ie team work, do your best, we love you...yada yada yada!

this is only our second week and only my first posting of this huge event that has changed things around here a bit. i didn't post last week because we had pictures of a little girl, our girl, upset and confused as to why only one ball was being used. we tried to explain that she needed to run fast, push herself to run faster than the other little kids to get her chance at kicking the ball...needless to say-no pics.

this weekend was a different story though...after some practice with daddy, beckham, and me...peyton was confident and prepared to do what she had to do. she informed me that she, "won't cry this time, mommy because daddy said big girls don't cry during soccer games." what a sweet girl. tears or not, we are proud of her and her new sport.

truth be told, the first time she had control of the ball and she was running full steam ahead to the net...tears threatened to make a showing...yes, i felt pangs of pride. pride for her courage, her speed, and determination. mostly what i was thinking was...this is my baby. my little baby. growing up. becoming more independent everyday. stop-kinda, but not really. here are some action shots from saturday morning...

yeah...she has a number too! #3. i know that this will be the number that she will wear for many years if she is anything like me and gets stuck on sentimental things like her first sport's number and things like that...


jido and beckham were there to cheer on little peyton!


coach and daddy gets the team pumped up!!!!

first some practice shots!

"i in the net, mommy!"

peyton did so well and had soooo much FUN! here she is running and kicking that ball for what seemed like 5 minutes.

beckham wanted daddy, so jeff coached with becks on his hip! *look who has the ball...just sayin'!

becks wanted to play too. lol on the little girl wondering why becks was on the field!

taking a break...

so proud of you peyton. we love you so much sweet girl. we are very thankful that you are our daughter and that we get to watch you grow up.
xoxoxo


finally, we are the parents sitting on the side lines in our fabric chairs, drinking coffee, and cheering one of our own children. up until two weeks ago, we had cheered on nephews, cousins, friend's kids...important people indeed, but now here we are listening, waving, encouraging, comforting, willing, loving our kid on the field.

whatever she decides to do...hip-hop is next on her list or a trip back to ballet (my dream, but i had to let that go last year when she decided she had had enough), playing a musical instrument, tumbling in gymnastics, just being creative,...we will be there for her, 'on the sidelines' so to speak, loving and encouraging her in whatever it is that makes her happy. so much to look forward to.

i know i am rambling a bit. i think so much about how far we have come since bringing this little one home from the hospital. thinking we had SO MUCH TIME before these moments. so much time to teach, mold, and prepare. yeah, yeah this is only four year old soccer, but i am thinking that high school is coming quicker than i planned...lol.

sitting here on the couch, cutting ribbon. white ribbon with little red hearts on going down the length of it. cutting out a few more red and pink construction paper hearts to attach to the fifteen little valentines that peyton will excitedly put in all her little friend's shoebox mailboxes! all the while thinking that next year we will make everything homemade and knowing that next year at this exact time, peyton will be a year older and able to spell and print her name out without assistance, but LOVING the scribbled name she painstakingly wrote on most of her heart tags today.

i'm also thinking it is late and i am one to many cups of joe into the night, so g'night and enjoy the little-ness of your babies. they grow so fast.

missing this little baby SO much, that it hurts sometimes. this little baby that used to want to nurse every two hours like clockwork, wanted to be held non-stop, hated being in the car, loved her swing to cradle rock her, smelled like baby powder, loved to be out and about more than staying put at home...i could talk about baby peyton all day.

love this baby because she is growing up to be the sweetest little thing, and because out of no where she comes up to me throughout the day and sings, "I love you, mommy!"

today i said, "peyton, you will always be my baby. always and forever."

she asks, "i'll always be your baby, mommy?"

"yup. always," i say.

she says in her most matter-of-fact-i-thought-this-through voice, " okay, mommy. mommy, i'll always be your baby, but a bigger baby because i'm big. because i eat my vegetables!"

loving this girl so much!

just loving life!

before talking about all the good stuff, i have to just write a little about what was (keyword: was) causing me to lose sleep at night...peyton going to school next year. *heavy sigh.*

currently she attends a wonderful pre-school just two days a week and she loves it! next year she must enter the 4 year-old program or not go at all and after MUCH soul-searching, questions, teacher talks, we have decided to enroll her in VPK for next year even though it is a 5 day thing...yes, five days.

not into the 5 day thing AT ALL, but it is what it is. now we are into, what are the best schools offering the program she will enter...are they good? are the teachers certified? will the school be 'pre-school-y' or school-y'??? get it, fluffy and fuzzy and lovey, or straight school which would be a combo of both, but will it??? i mean, come on, she is only four! most parents of four years olds that i know are going through the same thing now and there seems to be an undercurrent of panic at every play date, playgroup, lunch date,...you name it...parents are freaking out! even with my teaching background, truth be told, i was freaking out too! however, things are good now! i have done my research...put things into perspective...she's four, not 18 and enrolling into college. "heidi, calm the f--- down!" so i listened to myself and have made decisions. decisions that don't define her education or direction in life. just trusting myself and doing what i feel is best at this time. if i need to change paths for next year at another time...oh, well! i'll deal with it. i never went to pre-anything...and i turned out okay and i know peyton will too regardless!

whew. k, nuf bout that!



trying to make good on my 'i'm a do-er' post and adding color to my life, so with the help of KH and her little MDIS tricks...i'm doin' it!!! now, i need to get pictures on my walls...next big thing to do and i'm ready freddy! pics to come on that one later!

did LOTS of fun stuff recently...lots and lots of laughing, living, ...okay, okay i have to say it, and loving!

first, we celebrated kelle's 30th birthday like rock stars! ambiance, cool noshes, new friends, double dear old friends, stories 'bout nothing and stories 'bout everything...did i mention uncontrollable laughter? well, yes there was that and lots of it!!!! the kind where your sides hurt. the kind where you beg the story teller to stop..."i need a breath!." the kind where your husband looks across the room and says, "what is going on with you girls?" the kind where you can't stop the tears from falling-the best kind of laughter around!

here are a few pics and only a few because after the cocktails, i think i forgot i had my camera with me...

then, the next night we got to party again, for the big game...super bowl XLIII- just enjoying our family (who flew in for the occasion), good friends, team spirit, good food, and good times!!!

laughing at this one...lily going for the beer!

some people even won money...

and some had cute lil baby bumps...

... some had nothing but kind and complimentary words to make me feel really good!

thanks len! (j&k's daddy)...

...and one is learning to walk!!!!

lots of babies to entertain us...

these two little buggers adore each other and just have so much fun together. look where i found them...in jeff's closet...playing poker and great game of peek-a-boo!!!!

not everyone is pictured, but all are loved and appreciated just as much.

like i said before...just loving life these days!!!

peace out!