puma weekend and a little edgy urban!

i feel like i am finally catching up with shoots and work and unpacking and...so much. it feels so good to cross things off my list:) i have been wanting to post some pictures from our time in michigan, so hopefully every week i will get that done, because if their in one thing that makes me feel instantly better...it is knowing that i have posted memories.

i am so that girl that saves just about everything for the sake of a memory. yes, i save movie stubs, old pictures...even really blurring, crumpled ones where you don't know who is in the picture. i save diaries, old stuff from school like brownie and girl scout badges, old homecoming and prom dresses, old shoes...ugly ones. you name it, i save it and with the birth of of my two babies...it's only gotten worse. i save most of peyton's school projects and when i actually have a fight with myself...convincing myself i have enough...i don't need more, i feel guilty and almost usually pull it out of the garbage hang it somewhere.

my new way of coping/accepting is throwing things in the trash and then pouring something on it...like spaghetti sauce or something really gross like raw eggs or old sour cream;0 it works pretty well. then i'm feelin' all cool and proactive on cleaning up the clutter and then BAM, "(whiny, pained voiced) mommy, you threw away my project. why did you throw away my project? (big brown accusing eyes staring at me)."

"i'm sorry sweetie, i thought you threw that away. i'm so glad you found that bc i love it! (little white lie), i'm going to hang it up right here on the fridge!!!!"

okay, i'm officially on a tangent. all i really wanted to write was i want to post some pics from our michigan trip bc i know that my blogging has really suffered since starting my business. i love to do both and i really want to better document our family experiences. it's so important, bc regardless of how much you THINK you won't forget in a year, two years,...ten years-we will. we will forget the little tiny details of our days and i so don't want to forget all of it.

here are some pics of my sister-friends...we have literally grown-up together and we try to take at least one day a year to go somewhere and hang...actually we do this like twice a year. last year we did chicago. this year for out annual puma party (i think a puma is what a woman is before she is a cougar???) anyway we went to a vineyard in michigan, had a two hour long win tasting and then headed back to net's lake house to get ready to go out for the night. like always it was amazing. love you girls! my cam died three pics in, so as someone so nicely stated to me after i about had heart failure, "well i guess now you have to enjoy yourself!" ;0

baby bro is feeling a little under the weather. i took him to the docs yesterday to rule out the h1n1??/swine flu. they swabbed him up and said..."no swine flu here! just a common cold!" whew. then, i learned that kids 5 and above can not get the swine flu shot unless are considered high risk. peyton just missed the cut-off:( i am so one of those peeps that wants her children protected, but worries about the side-effects. i feel lucky that we have vaccines available to us, but at the same time, as parents we are forced with the decision of getting them done or not/guilt both ways/pros and cons both ways. oye. lOL i just wrote oye!

i spy two sweet babies mesmerized by the snowglobes...

even though i am finding it hard to escape the beautifulness of christmas...even at bed bath and beyond...!!!!!! we are getting ready for halloween!

two words:

BAT GIRL

another two words:

BAT BOY.

another few words:

head-to-toe HOT PINK LAME' for peyton...WT????????

as i started to hyperventilate while losing all hope that peyton would choose something a bit more...cute, i realized how happy Peanut Butter (peyton and beckham) were. beckham said, "i have a SUPER cool costume, mommy. i bat boy!!" he then put his hands up like superman and ran fast enough that his cape would fly behind him.

peyton, looked at me and said, " mommy, i don't want to be a mermaid, i want to be bat girl with beckham!" she then gave me her best superhero pose...both hands on hips and she was workin' her stand to boot.

three more words:

i give up.

it is officially over for me. a ladybug one year, cowgirl, and then cinderella and tinkerbell last year...i made the choice the couple of years, went along with her choices last year but she still wanted my opinion. it's all over. no apologies, she's batgirl now!!! i admire her choice making with conviction skills-something i lack:)

they're so excited and i am so excited for halloween.

beckham kept saying this over and over last night, "this is my trick-or-treat day costume mommy. ye-yaaa!"

now on to a wonderful family i met and photographed for the first time last summer. caterina and her beautiful little ones are a joy to spend time with and easy to photograph. this gorgeous mama is starting a new chapter in her life and wanted to start it fresh with new family pictures. she recently moved to an urban downtown area outside of detroit.

she was not familiar with the downtown area, but i asked her if we could do some edgy urban shots and that i would find the location (with my sister, heather's help cause girlfriend has a cool apartment in the same town) and we would have some fun!!! she was all for it and then thanked afterward saying she never knew she could have so much fun in an alley (or a three!!!) welcome home, caterina. you are an amazing person!!!!! xoxo

xoxo

have fun and be safe this halloween!!!

happy birthday to my sweet friend, jenn!!!!!

you make 30 look great!!! i love you!!!

colors.

oh how i love the colors in michigan in the fall. we are welcomed around every turn at nearly every streets end that winter is coming...with each leave turned and then fallen...i am reminded that the bitter cold is fast approaching and then i...feel really, really lucky we live in florida!

yes, i miss the cooler weather and the need for a constant cup of hot chocolate, but oh-my-goodness it is dreadfully cold there and so after i return from our beloved michigan-daily visits to the orchard-crunchy leaves-hot mulled apple cider-family-family-and more family, i am happy to be home. i write this looking for the negative of michigan so as not to fall into a puddle of missin'-my-home-depression...and guess what its working!!!!! it helps that i was welcomed home on saturday with cooler weather, less humidity, and the promise of a naples sunset beach visit.

i am so looking forward to spending christmas here this year...the first time in my WHOLE life, i/we will not be traveling to michigan for the holidays. money is tight and the tickets are about our whole christmas budget, but more than that...we want to be home. we have been traveling a lot this year and we long to make a happy, santa loving oasis of calm and fun. i almost can't wait for thanksgiving to be over so we can focus on my favorite holiday of the year!!!

i'll slow my roll...thanksgiving is pretty great as well:)

it feels good to be home, sitting at my computer, kids are singing together (peyton has made her own version of the mocking bird song), blogging, making plans to go outside for a walk, and then i'll make dinner. i'm a bit in the weeds with photo shoots that need some lovin'. many families are anxiously awaiting their photos and i am diligently working to get them out in the time i alotted myself. more importantly, i'm having fun and being home feels peaceful.

i hear beckham laughing with his sister. he adores her. mimics what she says, does what she does. he looks after her. he even gets upset with me when i punish her-hate the word punish.

he is the sweetest, most loving little boy. we look at him on a daily basis and say to each other what a good boy he is. his 50 "i love you, mama!" melt my heart and make we wonder how we ever didn't have him in our lives. was life any good before these little ones making us love more, laugh harder?!

peyton is just as sweet and FIVE. she never lets an oppurtunity pass that she doesn't remind us that she is a big girl now bc she is five. "i can drink pop now." "i can do whatever i want now bc i'm five." (this is daily with her brother, but stopped saying it to me after i told her i didn't care how old she was, i'll always be her mother and that for right now, i am the boss!) so sounding like my own mother...hate that. "mommy, since i'm five now, i'm going to kindergarten!" yes, we hear lots and lots of "i'm five, so i can ______ now!" turning five really did go straight to her head:)

my little poser! she is so funny.

i tried very hard and very long to put these into a collage...i miss doing my collages, but photoshop and i are having an

realtionship issues right now. i can't figure it out and i'm ready to break up with the big guy and go back to my

handy dandy microsoft digital image suite. i miss you mdis!!!

and as sweet as pie photo shoots go...baby girl savannah is turning 1!!!!! her mama wanted to have her photos taken to

mark the event and we had such a good time. even though it was cold and raining outside, baby s was a sport and we

captured her and the turning leaves with all of their beautiful colors!!! enjoy and happy birthday savannah!

xoxo

fall.

i could go on and on about how much i love being here in michigan in the fall...but that may be a little redundant seeing as i think i have written it four hundred thousand times. but...i just have to say that this trip home has to be one of the most fun to date i have ever had here.

family time, the weather, the time we have, the shoots, and all the learning i have been able to do in the last 8 days has been a true blessing and i am grateful. so grateful. i think i mentioned before that i attended a workshop for few days in grand rapids, mi at the very beginning of this trip...holla!!! AMAZING! i really have wanted to write, reflect, and give lots of amy wenzel lovin' up here on my blog, but i have been eternally busy this entire week, so that rockstar post will have to wait until next week:(

however, i do have lots to share and the first thing is...

we love michigan in the fall.

lol, just kidding, however here are some photos from our last visit to the apple orchard. we go just about everyday, so i just chose a few and here they are...

we go leave hunting...

we try to get beckham to smile for the camera...

we eat lots of sugared and spiced up donuts...

we ask mommy to take pictures of our heads in painted pieces of wood...

we find worms...

we try to kill the worm...

we talk about how baby girl is turning five soon...today. we talk about how mommy loves that she is

getting bigger and is so independant, but how she wants her baby to be her baby forever.

happy 5th birthday, peyton mae!! we love you forever.

i had to ease in on that one, more on this big event later!

other things keeping me happily busy is my photography. i am having a blast and loving doing it more

more with each passing photoshoot.

with that said, i was asked to photograph trenton!!! an adorable little boy who loves his mommy so.

he loves her so much, he along with his grandma, and auntie are surprising his mommy with photos...

photos of trenton.

i had a wonderful time with him and with grandma barb!!! it was cold out, but he was a trooper...as long

as we promised matchbox cars and playtime afterward

another family i had a chance to meet and have fun with is the fuerst family. they were so much fun and

such great troopers...it was FREEZING the day we shot. the poor kiddies! they did so well and in the end it really

was a fun session.

michelle your so fun!!! thanks for making my job so easy!!!!

well, i am off to strategically place some balloons around the house for my peyton's birthday breakfast.

much love.

h.

i'm here!

you know when you have a sink full of dishes, ten loads of laundry cluttering each corner of the house, last nights spaghetti sauce crusting itself on the shiny part of your stove top, kids screaming, the shower is SCREAMING your name, floors are crying for a mop, and your house looks like fao schwartz from all the toys strewn about???

you look around and just can not decide where to start and in my case and experience...i, will a.) will look around and make a mental plan (okay, heidi start with the area that a guest may have to bear witness to should they decide to drop by- love people dropping by by the way even if my house does look like grey gardens). b.) call a friend who i know would happily and without a drop of guilt leave her own mess and join me for a target trip or a starbucks (i'm not mentioning any names here!) or c.) take the kids to the park, do a craft, go take some pictures cause lord knows girlfriend will find any number of things to do before doing what she should. that's me.

anyway, the purpose of this post is to give lame excuses as to why i haven't blogged and i thought if i just did one little post...without pictures...just a few lines about what is going on...it would break the ice, open the door, make the task a little less daunting. so here i am. much like my dishes...tons to do, but if i just do the big pans and soak the others till tonight...i did get something done. i can leave the house knowing i made a difference in my mess and i will surely finish it later "when i get home!"

after all, i am so one of those people that think the opposite of, "why put it off for tomorrow, if i can do it today?" is that it...maybe not but i think it's close. heidi's new motto..."why do today what i can put off for tomorrow?"

(k, now's your chance-turn away:)

the sun is out. we are in michigan and it is fall. beautifully crisp and cold and the the air smells like the only thing it does smell like in michigan in the fall ...like caramelly, waxxy, sweet, yummy leaves. and they crinkle when you walk on them. they sound delicious and it takes me home.

we are bundling up as this is the coldest i remember october being here in a long time. i hear lots of complaints, but i am adoring this weather. we layer and layer our clothes, we slide on our uggs, brace ourselves for the cold and make an almost daily trip the apple orchard...cause that's what i do in the fall...drink hot apple cider and eat sugared donuts. we chase the bees away and feed the ducks. the kids squeal with delight and eat themselves sick.

i remember what it was like to be a kid when our parents would take us to the real deal cider mills and we would anxiously watch as big hot bins of oil cooked and crisped up our homemade donuts. i seriously could go on and on, but i won't because i am sure that since i opened the flood gates...i will post about pumpkin patches and apple butter on my next rant.

on the next post, i will post a few pictures from the photography workshop i attended last week in grand rapids, mi. OH MY GOSH...it was the most fun and i learned so much and was so inspired by the beautiful work of amy wenzel. she is a wonderful person and i can't not say enough about her generosity and relentless talent. amazing.

i will so talk her up next and post some of the photos i took at the workshop of all the beautiful models, the people i met,and how we didn't stop talking shop the whole we were there and how i loved it all.

wish i could post a pic...but i am still learning this mac thing, so i will post some later...i hope.

xoxo

h.

33.

i realize that i am far behind on the documenting in my digital diary or my blog. not that anyone is expecting me to post once a day, week, or year...it is instead the expectation i hold for myself. i find that i am failing miserably at it.

sometimes i find myself without the need or desire to blog or post. at times i am to tired or at a loss for words. nothing i feel passionate enough to write about. i don' t make myself post because if anything else i expect of my writing on here...it needs to be real and from the heart and trying to write from the heart when the heart doesn't want to share is tough. today, i want to post. i am overloaded in pictures and stories to share. i am blessed enough to have a life so full in the last couple of months to not know where to start, so instead shut the computer and say to myself, "tomorrow is the day." i want to post because this is my place, my little corner of the web where what i write is 'published.' i have said many times before that i write this blog for my children. i write it knowing i will have it bound into a book. one day they will read it and know me as i was...when they were younger. a young family making memories, and loving one another desperately in this great big world. i hope what they take away from this diary is that their mommy was a real woman learning and living and growing everyday. making mistakes, making friends, making dinner, making a home.

even though i would like to post peyton's first day of school and my last photo shoot, i have decided to post 33 thoughts/ideas/beliefs/mutterings in honor of my 33rd birthday that just recently passed. i am unusually emotional tonight which i am sure is the warning that in about a week i will be craving chocolate and crying at publix commercials...regardless, i want to write because in this moment i feel so lucky and happy and i want to put it out there so i can look back when i am 34 and remember what a great start to my 33rd year was. i am writing this in the format of the same questionnaire you find in us weekly's 25 things you didn't know about me. i can't help it, i love reading those.

ramblings of a 33 year old...

1. september 18th was my ten year anniversary and i have still can not believe that i am old enough to have been married for ten years. "holy, wt?" loops through my head non-stop!!!:) i am grateful for the ten years that jeff and i have been married. not all marital bliss...but lots of love, learning, and growing have made us the couple we are today. i am proud of us. truly and honestly proud of us.

2. i love my kids more and more every single day. listening to them interact, love, protect, and care for one another is a gift i didn't fully understand until i had two babies.

a couple of weeks ago, while j and i were away on our cruise, my mother-in-law found beckham in bed with his sister. peyton had her arm wrapped around him and they were sleeping. they didn't wake up until morning.

there is something about thinking about my little baby, getting up in the middle of the night and walking through a dark and quiet sleeping house to walk to the room his big sister was staying in, climbing into bed, pulling the covers up, curling up to peyton and going to sleep. i can't stand it. i'm so in love with these kids.

3. i really think my kids adore me...mostly me...and i relish that. they 'like me best.' as immature as that sounds...i don't care. i love it, and don't know what i'll do when they move on to their friends and mtv in the future and i no longer get 1000 kisses a day or 150 random, "i love you, mama!" seriously though, how does one let go of that???!!!!

4. i have learned to love the part of me that is a perfectionist...making it nearly impossible to start a project for fear something better will come along and make my initial work seem like garbage. i know this year i will conquer that and actually choose a paint color. oh, and i really like the smell of paint and dirt.

5. i adore red wine with dinner.

6. jeff is a really good man, regardless how crazy he can make me. lately, i find myself thanking god for such a good man even though sometimes i know i am hard to take. us polleti women are passionate and hot tempered at times...it's the italian in us. thank you baby!

7. i've learned that the extra lines on my face are beautiful...i dont' mind, really i don't. is that weird?

8. gray hair are thicker than regular therefore, i like gray hair!!!:)

9. i dream a lot. i'm a romantic and i love to shop and i'm not an outdoorsy gal. i have fought hard at trying to make jeff think i'm into lots of camping and beach side volleyball...nope, nada, no. i would much prefer to shop, read a book, sit on a swinging porch swing and sip iced tea. he's cool with it, even though he tries to get me to golf every once and awhile:) i'll do it, jeff!

10. i love to be home. i'm a homebody. i love to light candles, turn down the thermostat, make a pot of chili and open the windows, bake something.

11. i love people. i love meeting new people, i love seeing the best in people. not always easy, but so worth it.

12. i really love iced coffee with a sprinkle of cinnamon. dunkin donuts has the best!!! starbucks takes second place.

13.

this girl and her first day at school this year. she is in pre-k 4 and LOVES it! we are so proud of our baby girl.

14. i love how when i get off of an airplane from another place and i walk out of the airport and into the florida air...it hits me...the hot air, the smell of hot grass or mold...not exactly sure, but i have come to love it, the sound of the air conditioning units outside...not at all like michigan. it is comforting. it is a big welcome home sign. it feels comfortable.

15. this treasure, a gift from jeff given to me on our 10th anniversary cruise. he saw me admiring it day after day. i would go and visit it daily. sometimes i would walk down to the promenade deck alone at night...just to try it on again. we decided against exchanging gifts this year since we splurged on the cruise, but i found this on my pillow on our anniversary...

16. my third child. my camera. i use the canon 50d...best purchase i have ever made. the camera doesn't make a photographer, but i am sure i take better pictures now because of this baby!

17. loving my family who love and support me unconditionally. i can't name everyone but to the people i hit up the most for help, kelle...for your constant help and advice and genuine happiness for me in doing what i am loving to do:) heather...for lighting fires...under me. jenn...supportive,calming, ego boosting friend.

i love you guys and to all the friends i love so much. i get so many uplifting emails and messages. thank you.

18. love my house.

19. mc donalds has the BEST freshly brewed unsweetened iced tea...two splenda. i'm addicted.

20. i love the hills and the city (happened to catch the season premiers while writing this). makes me happy to be married with children, but also makes me wish i was a few sizes smaller with an unlimited budget to buy accessories!

21. the ting tings rock my world! i sing this kids song throughout the day...so much that i want to cut my own tongue out...ew gross. sorry, not sure where that came from, but i try not to edit so i had to write it:)

22. i think that all people have good in them. lots and lots of good and love and realness. you may not always see it, but it's there and if you look...you will find it! i hope my children learn this and carry it with them.

23. i wish i could handle stress and pressure a bit better and i'm working on it:)

24. i am killing the clutter in my house and it is the best feeling ever. and it has a snowball effect making me want to go through each room each night with a trash bag!!!

25. i pray so much throughout the day and night that i personally feel like god and i have an understanding...a special relationship, he's got my back, but i am pretty sure everyone feels that way so it makes me laugh:)

26. when out and about...and possibly feeling bored, uninspired...if i look in my purse and find my little canon point and shoot camera...good times just happen because fluffing hair, repainting lipstick, and putting on our best self-portrait poses make us really really happy. these are the last ones jenn and i took and just looking at them make laugh. i have tons more, but of course couldn't find them in my ever growing pile of digital pics.

27. it's my birthday...if i want to dream about the house i would love to live in one day, i will:) i would LOVE LOVE LOVE to live in a craftsman style home. they are so beautiful. the prairie styled ones are my fave and i dream of restoring an old craftsman style home. just looking at pictures make me salivate.

here are some pictures of an enlarged bungalow...craftsman style. built in 1908, but recently restored in 2004! love the history of an old house. i picture leave it to beaver-ish kind of lifestyle..complete with aprons, homecooked meals, fathers smoking their pipes, drinking scotch, family dinners, and things like, "dear, will you please pass the mashed potatoes?" or "mom, may i be excused?" these houses go back further than those dreams i have of the 40's and 50's...but this is normally what i think of.

28. i am so grateful for the time i have been able to spend with my grandma! while i was in michigan over the summer, we had about 5 sleepovers...full of cards, movies, laughs, a few tears...but what's a good sleepover with tears of happiness or a sad movie. special, special lady whom i love so much!

29. my little boy and this little girl. i can not write this list without wanting to constantly speak of my babies. i am just so in love with them. they really do make me want and strive to be a better person. they look up to me...copy what i say, do what i do, believe what i believe for the most part. i'm just smitten and not one single day goes by that i think i am taking them for granted. they are getting so big, so grown up.

peyton is a different child than she was last year. she is so much more nurturing and caring. more responsible. she looks after baby brother in the sweetest ways. i am so proud she is my girl and in our lives because i can't think of a better version her.

earlier she asked me who her mommy was when i was a baby.? i realized that she thought she was alive when i, myself was a baby. i tried to explain it to her, but at the end she said, "so i was your mommy when you were a baby!!!"

love her analytical mind and sweet heart!

beckham is pretending to be a puppy!!!! silly, sweet thing.

30. even if he doesn't know it...i may not say it enough...i love my husband very much and i want to say again how much i appreciate his support of me of all that i do and want to do and am doing. running my own business is amazing but requires lots and lots of support...thank you, baby!

31. i love my kids want to make birthdays special for their daddy...

32. i can't wait to go to michigan next week and feel badly for everyone not going with me. seriously, i'll bring some fall lovin' home though!

33. i love being 33.

33 and 1 for good luck. i hope i didn't miss one cause i'm not going back!!!!

xoxoxo

oh and, happy birthday to sophie-peyton's cousin and closest thing to a sister! 5 years old. it's a big one. we love you sweet girl.