Life is Like a Box of Chocolates...

i'm outta here.

2010-03-07T22:09:00.005-05:00

oh, this feels like it has been a long time coming. with excitement and a tad of sadness...i am moving on from Life is Like a Box of Chocolates blog and starting a new one.

i feel like it is time as i have been talking about it for over a year-more like hanging over my head and on my permament to do list right above steaming the bathroom baseboards and right below meticulously organize closet with pictures and cute color-coded labels.

yeah, prob not gonna happen.

i have not only switched my title, but my new blog has a new url. please click this link to visit my new little space on the net. be sure to leave a comment on the new blog to be entered into my first ever blog giveaway.

welcome!

xoxo

heidi

If You're Anything Like Me...

2010-03-03T00:11:00.002-05:00

and not that you want to be, but if you were...you MAY go the grocery store 'cause you promised your husband a fabulous meal when you returned home because the last time you cooked a real meal with all the food groups, people rode dinosaurs to work.

you MAY take two whole hours to purchase ten items at which point your husband may call you or leave you a frightening text that says, "are you dead, it's been a long time for some milk and carrots?"

( i was perusing the easter isle...with all those pastel colors...i couldn't pull myself away)!

when i finally arrived home, i set out to make a kick butt steak meal! however, if you were me you may realize that you forgot the kids' favorite part...corn on the cob!

okay, broccoli with cheese will make them happy.

okay, you forgot the cheese and cheese on the broccoli is like no buttercream frosting on the perfect cupcake. it just doesn't work around here.

plan B: what kid doesn't love a grilled hot dog...'cause that's the way we roll around here...we grill 'em or we don't eat 'em! just sayin.'

...okay, mommy forgot to buy more dogs. two won't do it. damn.

plan C: who doesn't like eggs, fried hot dogs and the french fries that were cooking in the oven to be served with the grilled hot dogs extra onions?!

mind you, this was i could think to put together after 'grocery' shopping for two hours!

and the cherry on the cake...

yes people, those are the last two hot dogs, fried to a crisp. i had to take them outside so the fire alarms wouldn't catch on to the fact that...mommy's a moron!

i still served it up. yes, i did. and for a bonus...we used old paper plates from my christmas brunch. beckham noticed and called me out.

so, i wasn't planning on posting tonight, but i wanted to award myself with the biggest loser award and tell my family...

it'll happen again and again, but i love you for smiling and eating the 'food' anyway!

xoxo

a big boy and a BIG change!

2010-03-01T09:33:00.005-05:00

okay, i am alive over here! i promised myself at least two posts a week...last week. i have failed, but for good reason...i am saying goodbye to Life is Like a Box of Chocolates. yes, sad, but true. i think i have outgrown it. my very first blog. i began this blog in an effort to leave something for my children to read about their lives growing up and something to read about what their mama was like back then. i have never been good with baby books and such so this worked for me.

that first step into the blogsphere (i think i made that up) was a scary one. vulnerable and just plain weird.
will people read it? do i even want people to read it? what if people laugh at my grammar errors? what if people laugh at the stupid stuff i write? maybe i should keep it private?

case in point...my first post is here.

i guess i learned about myself that i simply didn't mind much what others thought about my blog. i mean, actually i cared lots, but not enough to stop writing in it. i would defend it and all of its crazy fluffiness to my family who, at times, thought i was a crazy person that had taken over the body, mind and soul of their daughter and sister.

however, anyone who blogs i am sure can understand all of the blessings and healing it can bring upon one's life.

"Find the good. It's all around you. Find it. Showcase it. And you'll start believing it." Jesse Owens.

i really believe that when you look for the bad...you WILL find and see the bad. more importantly however, i know that when you look for the good and beautiful, you WILL find the good and beautiful.

life. it can be ugly and we can choose to only see the ugliness. OR we can make the choice to see the beautiful. it is a choice. a choice that we all have to make each day. do i see the beautiful in everyday? yes, i do. and this is what i choose to write about even though i know lots of ugly too.

i live the ugly stuff too, however, most of the time, i am sure i don't want to write to about it. not because i am ashamed or trying to portray myself in the best light. i write about the good because at the end of the post...i feel good. better. positive and empowered. if you don't believe me...try it!

now, my family doesn't laugh at me, they ask me to get posting! also, the friendships i have made through this blog i truly treasure.

i'll stop the tangent now.

what i was trying to say is that, i have created a new space to write about our life. i have been working on it for a few days, because anyone that really knows me or follows this blog, knows that it takes me a long time to make decisions about EVERYTHING.

i enlisted the help of a few friends to help me come up with a new name that they thought worked well with what i was all about. i think it came down to being real, creativity, life and art. each of the four girls, including my sister, came up with so many good ideas that i wish i could start 5 more blogs just to use the titles. so, after many lists and phone calls back and forth...my dear, sweet and super talented friend jenn (i would link her, but i haven't persuaded her to begin a blog yet) came up with...

well, i will wait a few more days to unveil the new name that i LOVE and ADORE!

here is a hint though...

in even BIGGER news,

my baby is riding a big boy bike.

"i riding a big boy bike with (as he concentrates on getting his index and middle finger to stay up) only...two wheels, mama. no training wheels!"

he has been riding on one for a couple of weeks now and i have never posted any pictures, so here are a few of our baby conquering the sidewalk with just 'two wheels, mama!'

we are so proud of this little one. he is smart, athletic, sweet, caring, kind, and loving. he loves his mama and his mama loves him right back.

peyton squeals in delight as beckham rides his bike down the drive. "i taught beckham how to ride his bike with no training wheels!"

she is so proud of her baby brother.

i'm off to nurse this head cold...damn head colds.

xoxoxo

lemonade stands, strawberry scones, & friends...

2010-02-22T10:21:00.006-05:00

in trying to better 'our story,' i am trying to get the kids involved in things that help make them realize how blessed and lucky they are to live where they do, eat when and what they want, and most importantly--are loved as they are.

there are nights, long after the kids are bathed,tucked, and storied up...that i sit and wonder for them, what their future may hold for them. i, every once in a while, wonder what they may do to feel fulfilled and to make them a contributing part of society. at the end of my daydream or thoughts about the 'future' peyton and beckham...i only ever hope for them a happy and content life.

sometimes, i feel like i am noah, and i am with god's direction, building an ark (peyton and beckham). an ark that must withstand the waters and weather...both calm and thunderous. there will be lightning and rainbows. i guess we're all in the same 'boat' of life.

am i building these 'arks' with the correct foundation. will they be strong, confident, and know where they are going?

i pray every single night that i/we are doing a good job with these little ones that need to learn so much us. we are their example in life and in love. it is such a huge and the most important job. i just hope that we are doing the best for them in the short time we have them in our immediate grasp.

but, hey...we make mistakes. all. the. time. i'm pretty sure i am doing a great job of how to say, "i'm sorry," too if you know what i mean!!!

with this said...we are trying to help put with the relief efforts in haiti, so we decided, along with kelle, to have one during her community garage sale. we planned the lemonade stand and bake sale with the enthusiasm of planning a birthday party...'cause that's the way we roll. we kinda forgot about the garage sale part...

first off...homemade scones from this blog friend where you will also find the recipe for them! thank you, april! they are yummy! maybe not as easy as you made it. more than a few times i wanted to look you up in the yellow pages and ask for help. yup, i would have called that late:)

i guess are one in the morning, taking pictures every step of the way meant more sense to me than actually finding stuff to sell at the sale, but hey, it was fun...

what i ended up with were more like strawberry scone cookies rather than scones, but they were still really good!

truth be told, beckham was the rock star at this sale, cause he was all about serving people. while kelle and i were to busy ignoring potential customers by taking pictures, and our girls were to busy playing...our little beckham stepped up his game and served with a smile...and for the record, i have never seen someone so diligent in making sure each glass of bee-filled lemonade had the perfect amount of ice inside.

my daughter, on the other hand, spotted some of her things that were included in the sale that she was not very happy about...among the treasures...her first trike from 4 years ago, that dirty little bag attached to it and anything else she could find went into the bag or into my car for safekeeping. she rode around for HOURS looking for her property and made me promise that if i found anymore of her things that i would let her know about it. pinky promise.

on beckham's break...

kelle and i were to busy doing this...

to sell this...

we had such a great time...it was the perfect way to spend a beautiful saturday is some of florida's finest weather...

(kelle made all the aprons and signs!)

we bought some stuff too...

i highly recommend a garage sale...it is as beckham would say, "super fun, mama!"

in other, we-can't-stop-having-fun blogger moments...

my friend, jenn who is an amazing writer and good friend had us over for bellini's and to meet new friends!

the bellin's were fab although i don't have a recipe...the company was better!

i kinda feel like i've walked into anthropology (ah hem, my 'favoritest' store ever ever ever) when i walk into jenn's house. clean, refreshing, simplistic design... basically, things i aspire for my house to be!

(side note: to my hubby... i want this dress for easter. okay, kinda expensive for a plain black easter dress. correction: i want to be able to look phenom in this dress by easter:)

then home...to this sky...

so, in an effort to help form these little souls into the amazing, young person they will need to be when they leave the nest...we do stuff. along the way they are sure to pick up something from it all!

xoxoxoxo

oh yeah...i can't forget...

ever thine, ever mine, ever yours.

2010-02-15T18:32:00.014-05:00

"...Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our exisitance can we achieve our purpose to live together-

Be calm- love me-today-yesterday-what tearful longings for you-you-you my life-my all-farewell. Oh continue to love me-never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved. Ever thine, ever mine, ever yours."

-beethoven

***

what is it about valentine's day that entices me to do things like look for then purchase love letters of great men. it may have something to do with the fact that before i sat down to write this post, i just had to find the perfect background noise.

i am always in search of the perfect background music or movie and my ol' faithful choice is you've got mail 'cause it makes me think of newly sharpened pencils and how good they smell, twinkle lights, and my favorite season-fall. it's a happy movie and it lifts the spirit!

not to get off track, but today i chose as my background hullabaloo... sex and the city the movie. it kinda feels like a valentine sorta-ish good movie to watch... minus the jilted bride and infidelity.

there is such an exquisite poetry to this movie that i simply can not explain. the music makes you want to cry and was perfectly paired with the sequence of events, filming and angles...divine.

not to mention...the story. the story is really, really good! all of the women in the story want something; love, stability, a baby, her old self back. they all overcome their struggles in the most beautifully acted out way. to me that's a good story.

no, this is not a movie review. i'm off topic again!

with this holiday comes sugar cookies, hearts, and tiny will you be mine? valentines- stickered up with the scrawl of a little five year old girl in black sharpie...she's perfecting her name and i love how proud she is of it...

and then a super secret 'love day' photo shoot for daddy. i kinda forgot to look at camera settings, for the ENTIRE shoot. hate it when that happens, but we had so much fun doing the 'secret' for daddy that is doesn't really matter how sharp the pictures are...'cause they were taken with lots of love' and we know how much he likes new pictures of his babies for his walls at work! these are for you, daddy!

daddy, we love you very much! thank you for working so hard for us.

xoxo

***

i feel like i have some catching up to do with photo sessions that need to be posted and since i don't have my photography blog set up yet, i will post them here, but warning...it's lots and lots of pictures! i pretty much have a decision making problem. going out to eat is tough...i can never decided what i want and then when i do decide...i end up eating what my husband ordered because i'm not all that into what i ordered. i think it has something to do with the idea that going out to dinner is such a special experience...to be waited on, served whatever we want just by speaking the words, and then picked-up after.

honestly, if you really think about it...it's pretty awesome. in my quest to squeeze every bit of the fun and experience out an evening out...i usually order something...weird or something i wouldn't normally prepare myself. however; when it comes, i am reminded why i probably don't make it for myself or family at home.

Lesson: keep trying new things...you never know when you will hit the food ordering jackpot. it is so much sweeter when it happens 'cause, in my case, it happens only a few times a year. tangent...love how i said food and jackpot in same sentence. i love food!

here are a few shots of julie and her new twin boys...they are deliciously beautiful...

blessed blessed blessed.

next one up is kelle and nella cordelia. first shoot after nella arrived and i love how it turned out...

in every session from now on, i have decided to do an over the top enhancement to at least one photo.

it is really fun to mess around with different techniques and it helps me learn and navigate my programs.

and my favorite...

love that nella bean!

***
and the next was a five year old shoot for handsome brandon! his mama wanted me to bring my little one along

to make the shoot a little more fun and despite the FREEZING cold weather...we had a great time!

way enhanced:

and the birthday boy...

and then his super sweet and beautiful sister, chloe started dancing, so i had to get some shots of that and of

her loving on her big bro...

then, those crazy kids wanted ice cream in the freezing cold weather, but it made for some cute photos!

i guess the only other thing to talk about it how much i love my own little valentine's. they are amazing and

keep me on my toes and truly teach me more about life than anything or anyone ever could.

i think it's important to teach our young boys how to be little gentlemen. i know beckham is young, this time in

his life is so formidable and necessary. with that said,daddy took him to buy some tulips for peyton and i the day before valentine's day.

when beckham returned from his 'secret' trip with daddy, he said, "we got you flowers, mama. for you and peyton, but shhhhh...you can't see them!"

he makes me laugh.

peyton is growing up so quickly.it's the hour glass is filling with sand and it refuses to slow down.

she just gets bigger and more independent as each day goes by. my little baby girl who is so much like me...i'm in trouble!

yes, valentine's day, although hugely commercial and a reason to spend money on chocolate hearts and mini

hannah montana greetings, makes me think of all that i love in this world and those who love me back. trying

more than ever to tell those that are dearest to me how much they mean.

feeling blessed for so much, but especially for my husband and these two little souls!!!

happy love day!

oh and if this damn blog post has any errors...i'm over tinkering with any technology that doesn't do what i want it to do:)

xoxo

love affair.

2010-02-05T16:59:00.004-05:00

"i'm gonna be a golfer when i get big, mama!"

little beckham makes this proclamation pretty regularly much to the delight of my husband who is kinda sorta for

sure a golf fanatic. however, why shouldn't he be...he is amazing at the sport and has a passion for everything about

it!

i'm pretty sure i'm looking into beckham's future a little bit when i hear him ask to go golfing, hit balls, or try on

his golf shoes throughout the week.

i wonder if 3 year olds can have passions about things like this...well, things other than batman, pirate

ships and m&m's.

oh, how i love how he loves everything his daddy loves. he is so much like him. i can only imagine how that

makes jeff feel inside.

peyton enjoys whatever her daddy does as well. okay, i am a tad envious that the kids are all into what their

daddy's into. she, especially my big girl... i have tried, with complete failure, to get her into a sweet love

affair with her dolls, or ballet classes, or even real babies. nope, it is her daddy she wants to please

with her golf swing or bicycle balancing.

"let the dream die, heidi!" the hubby says with a sly smile. i just want to slap him...but i don't. he's right.

it's okay. peyton's her own girl and i'm proud of her. no more french fry and ice cream bribes at dance class.

i finally let her quit after i found it to hard to watch the other little tutu'd ballerina's dance and my little one

have zero interest.

realizing that i have a lot less control over her life than i used to. dang...i kinda liked being in full control:)

my little love. just wanting her to be happy doing what she enjoys is all i can and will ever want for her and

her baby brother. that's my story...

my passion isn't as healthy...

and baby brother playing big brother...

to baby nella and lainey!

xoxo

wanna hear the ocean?

2010-02-01T12:51:00.012-05:00

...beckham asks me as he puts a shell to my right ear as i finally sit down to make my first blog post in what feels like a million years. i just love him and his sweetness. he doesn't know that he is making what seems to be a daunting task...a little easier!

yes, much has happened since my last post. life seems different...better.

kelle and i did talk about me posting a little something of what her experience was like through my eyes, and i will, but first, i want to say how much i love these little ones because they have been rock stars and mommy's proud of them.

i thought hard about not including this in my post, but it has to be shared because it is important.

i wrestled with the fact that i had been gone from home for a few days to be at the hospital with kelle and baby nella. it was a decision i didn't think much about...i just did it. i wanted to be there. i was needed at a very special time in my friend's life and i feel blessed and honored to have been able to be there.

for those who know me best, a minor shutdown was to be expected afterward. it's probably not the healthiest way to deal, but it's how i've always done it. thank you for the comments, and messages of kindness...didn't have to send them my way, but it was sweet and appreciated:)

my super generous and understanding husband and children were left to fend for themselves and they did a wonderful job! then, gido and sito stepped in when jeff had to be away too. When i didn't come home the first night, peyton called me to ask when i would be home. no tears, just questions.

i told her that lainey had her baby sister now!!! i told her that i was staying with auntie kelle to help with the baby. more questions. i finished the conversation with something like this; sometimes being good friend means that we help them when they need it...it may mean we can't be at home for a few days...it means we make sacrifices. i'm pretty sure i lost her at 'sacrifices.' besides, 'sacrifices' really isn't the correct word, because it wasn't one to me.

i could have said i needed to stay at the hospital because i couldn't bear to leave my friend who is always with me when i need her. i could have said that my heart hurt so much for kelle, that i would be of no good use to her or her brother anyway. i could have said that i couldn't stop the tears. i could have said that the stream of loving friends in and out of the hospital to support and love their kelle, also selfishly raised me up and i needed it!

what i was trying to say is that sometimes being a good mom doesn't always means spending time with my kids. sometimes it means teaching them a lesson. i hope i showed my kids how to love those friends closest to them, and i hope that one day they will be blessed with the oppurtunity to make 'sacrifices' to love someone else like i had the chance to last week. i know they'll be better for it because i know i am.

these babies of mine, my heart...i just love them more and more each day. and as i had made new year promises of doing more, creating more, being more with them and for them...i really did miss them both.

thank you sito and gido for loving on my babies! we love you both lots.

when kelle delivered nella to the world at 4:24pm last friday, i was there to witness her welcoming.

what an honor and blessing to be in that room on that night with such wonderful

friends celebrating this miracle of bringing new life to the universe.

as with any baby, it was a life changing event. complete with that

weird, surreal feeling...'holy moly, there really was a baby in that belly!'

when nella was handed to her mama, we all cried and laughed. the music played loudly, just the way

kelle wanted it. it was a beautiful moment. that moment turned into hours of discovery, happiness, pain,

friends,generosity, fuzzy time tables, and LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.

love and beauty. beauty of a mother and a father meeting and then desperately loving this new baby.

a father loving his child, the new mommy, with prayers and smart, true words. a newly crowned big sister

and a couple of proud handsome brothers. phone calls from siblings in michigan...you had to be there

to understand what these calls did for kelle. it was...amazing,

and...i'm pretty sure we emptied 3, maybe 4 bottles of champagne in celebration!!! it was a beautiful night.

nella is beautiful and perfect in every way and her extra 'special-ness' has taught me, and i think

just about everyone i know and hundreds of those i don't, big life lessons of love, acceptance,

and the true beauty of the unexpected surprises of life.

the kind of surprises i believe are gifted to those extra special people. the ones we are inspired by.

the ones that make our world a better place in which to live and grow.

a better family could not have been chosen for baby nella bean.

we toasted her birth that night and have not stopped celebrating little nella bean or ice cream, as

our beckham calls her, since.

through countless phone calls, texts, emails, hospital hallway hugs...we all loved a little

more last weekend. it really was like magic.

with joy and an intense protective love that all of us mommy's understand-raw,

primal, vulnerable, kelle and family is providing this sweet little morsel of heaven

and her big sister, one of the luckiest childhoods i can imagine!

i looked over and saw carin enjoying her lunch and clutching hot tub like it were baby nella...so funny and i love the pic.

welcome to the world nella cordelia!

i love you, kells. you're just...so...important to me.

xoxoxo

***

sometimes i like to photograph food. it's how i roll. so on sunday, i hosted a brunch so i could. not really.

we did a little "welcome nella" brunch with friends and enjoyed too many carbs to think about. it was great!

beckham has informed me that he wants a baby now. also, he says he wants to be a big brother. actually, he

thought he was nella's big brother until i regretfully informed him otherwise. he cried and said lainey wasn't

a big sister if he wasn't a big brother. i ADORE this kid!

peyton, on the other hand wants NO part of another baby. like she becomes angry when beckham says he wants

one.

two completely different little souls. equally precious in their own unique personalities. the best of them together

though is how much they depend on one another without even knowing it.

it is one of the gifts that come with this parenting adventure. you get to watch your children love and

learn from one another... share those unique experiences in childhood together that will bond them for life. an unbreakable

bond that parents dream will always be the same, as strong as it is today. it's like a window into our own

childhood and our siblings and what makes us love them through so much.

all of the beautiful chaos... the batman toy that peyton hid from b to 'teach him a lesson'; or peyton's favorite princess dress goes

missing because beckham wants to pretend it is a cape with super powers.

for now, i'll take beckham fighting to cook just about every meal because he LOVES to cook with his mama

and peyton can render my make-up and jewelry box almost useless (okay, maybe not, but it feels better

written out:)

feeling blessed.

xoxo

...make a brighter day... just you and me!

2010-01-20T09:49:00.006-05:00

people need our help. children need our help.

i'm one of those people that avoids the news so as not to upset myself with the details of

some of the horrors of everyday life. pain inflicted on children and the elderly most especially keep me

up at night. it's not because i don't want to be bothered with it, but mostly because i lack the ability to not internalize

it. i'm sure this happens to most everyone. i have had a harder time with it since i have had babies of my own.

i am sad and ashamed to say...i have also doubted my ability to help. i'm just one person. what can i do to help

without unlimited funds. really, will it matter if i help, so many others are helping. i reason that i throw some

money into santa's bucket...you know the one that rings the bell at publix around christmas time.

well, it's time to step up. help is needed, and as much as i would love to adopt and bring home 10 children,

i need to find another way to help.

kelle and i have been thinking of doing something to help later next month, but when peyton started asking

me questions about why a child was crying on a news segment, i thought this was the perfect time to make a small

but meaningful difference.

"why is she crying. where is her mommy?" she had died in the earthquake.

so i was thinking that maybe peyton and i could host a lemonade/hot cocoa stand in our neighborhood sometime in the

next couple of weeks with all proceeds benefiting the american cross haitian relief effort.

maybe even a raffle where the holder of the winning raffle ticket will win a free family photo shoot!

i wanted to post this to possibly give ideas as to how to help out. every little bit helps and the difference it may make

in peyton, knowing she is helping. learning to love and have concern for those who have less or are going through a

difficult time will be immeasurable, and at the same time and more importantly, it will help other little kids

in haiti who have lost so much, and need so little to survive.

another way to help:

click here

you know girlfriend loves oprah. i trust her site, so that is why i included it here.

also, for the next month i am challenging myself. this challenge all started when i realized my food pantry so was

full of food, i could hardly close it. it is seriously ridiculous how much food i buy and don't cook. no more.

the challenge is this.

instead of spending my normal $150 a week on groceries with an emergency visit midweek for another $30-50. i

am challenging my organization skills and integrity to limit my grocery money to $50 a week to be used on fresh

vegetables, fruit, lunch meat, and milk. (somewhere right now jeff is doing a happy dance!)

with all of the frozen chicken, shrimp, and beef i have in the freezer...i know we can do it. $200 total for the month.

then, i will donate some of the money saved to the red cross. it's an easy way to help and clean out the pantry:) I'm not

going to lie...this helps on a few different levels.

this post is not meant to preach at all...just me trying to make myself useful in some way and i don't

really know what else to do. and i love how it instantly makes one feel good. to be able to help others really is

a blessing. maybe this post will inspire a challenge for you and your family to do something special for others in need!

if so, post it!!! my readership is small, but passing on ideas to even one person can and will inspire someone.

"and the truth, you know love is all we need,"

we are the world

heidi

new year. fresh beginnings. white canvas.

2010-01-16T21:14:00.003-05:00

...however you say it, the start of a new year often brings with it promises to oneself and others that this is going to be a better year than the last. i am no different. i subscribe to that optimistic way of thinking. not because i want to erase the memories and experiences of the 2009. i don't. the last year has been a wonderful one, but i am excited for what '010 has in store for us and for what we will make happen as well!

with that said...more blogging, more photos, more games with my kids, more home cooked meals, cleaner windows, less dust, cluttered corners. more quality time with those around me. more oatmeal in the morning (less bagels:), more walks outside in this beautiful weather, more trips to the beach for sunset, read more smart books, read more fluff books.

organize and slow down. get things done, but live life and have fun.

sometimes life seems like one big contradiction, but i know it can be done while still being true to who we are or want to do. i am learning that we have to do what we need to do and it is possible.

it goes on. while writing this out doesn't guarantee these things to happen, it helps to remind me. it serves as some sort of encouragement to live a simpler life. yes, that's it!

the time i spend with my babies has been more and more meaningful to me as i see how big they are getting and it is a constant reminder to me to slow. down. listen more, work less, but still work to fulfill the other part of me that is trying work itself out of me-the creative part...balance people. BALANCE.

it's important. so very important and something i learned lots and lots about this past year with the new biz.

i think i'm going to add play dates in there too! cousin play dates...'cuz we miss the cousins. and more mommy time

and daddy time... apparently i want it all.;0 just like any other woman. that's because we women...rock. it. out.

speaking of women rocking it out...

this one does...

and while WE rocked out out little impromptu coffee play date with the kids into kelle's official unofficial pregnancy shoot, and even with

the harsh light...we did get some keepers!

it wasn't all play...

but it was all fun!!

kell's bells i love you and can't wait to meet that

little angel in a few short days!

becks and lainey play so well together and wanted to get in on the fun too!

and this little one...is just getting so big. i can't believe how much older she looks and how much

more mature she acts. we feel so lucky to have this sensitive little one who cares about others...

who loves her brother and wants to make her daddy proud!

PROUD is what she made us a few days ago when she made her first visit to the dentist a major success!

yes, she was nervous after she asked me why i picked her up from school early.

"are you taking me to get a scone, mommy?"

deep breath. "no, honey. we need to go get your teeth cleaned...by the dentist."

panic. "no, mommy. please no."

this went on for the entire ride. the only thing that calmed her was the fact that her cousin sophie went in

to see the dentist alone (i'm pretty sure i didn't make that up) but it worked for peyton.

she did beautifully.

mary, the hygenist, is another woman who rocks it out. she was amazing with her! thanks, mary!

becks kept watch over her!

when peyton was done...guess who just had to have his teeth cleaned too...

love this boy so much and here is so loving his teeth...mary cleaned a couple teeth for him!

so, with of all of my proud parent phone calls to brag about how well she did, they wanted a treat.

so i took them to rot their teeth with...

i know. i know. it's a constant struggle, but hey, there is nothing wrong with the golden

arches from time to time. everything in moderation i guess!!!

(sidenote: they had ice cream sundaes following the fries) it was a fabulous

time and we had a blast!

next post...the naples botanical gardens!!!

it's brand spankin' new and something new in naples for the kids to do is always exciting to me.

for now, we have sunday to look forward to. something about a sunday that makes me want to huddle

up with the fam, make a real meal, just be. i love sundays. i hope you enjoy yours!

xoxo

happy new year! didn't take one pic, but i thought this was cool:)

2010-01-01T09:26:00.001-05:00

i know...what was i thinking...i wasn't. we were to busy playing wii and ringing in the new year together as a family...and i uh,

fell asleep until jeff's mom woke me up to give me a new year's hug. LOL!

enjoy the new year with all of it's new hope and freshness and cool ideas, dreams, and resolutions. i, for one, do not have

a resolution because i have adopted the idea that resolutions are made to...be broken...in my personal experience that is.:)

i love this video (and song) because it has inspired me to do more with my videos...not this...but maybe something a

a bit more creative. this is sooooooo cool and i can't stop looking at it and wondering...how did they do that???

it's amazing!

xoxo

an overdue post and a very special happy birthday...

2009-12-28T22:29:00.004-05:00

we have been so busy with holiday cheer and family and love and all the good stuff that happens when the weather turns crisper (or i when i turn my thermostat down to make it feel that way), jingles start playing on the radio. ya know...when my baking instinct kicks in along with so many other people, worries of the perfect gift, lists,...all the good stuff bottled up called december!

yes, i have lots to share in blog world...one thing is...peyton has her own blog now!!! it's not quite finished being designed the way she wants it...she is still looking for a header photo of herself...:)

check it:

www.peytonspot.blogspot.com

i can not tell you how excited she is about this:) love her innocence and enthusiasm for her new hobby...you'll see!

what i want to post about today is...my sweet friend turns 31 today!!! while this event started getting me thinking of what to do special for this mama that is about to have her second baby girl...i remembered that i never posted about the shower we had for her last week!

twinkle lights and italian panins...i'll keep it short, but to say is was anything less of kelle hampton...classic, beautiful, FUN, would be wrong. it was all those things and in celebrating sisterhood and friendship...we are ready to welcome lainey's little sister in a couple of weeks, give or take a week or two.

love you kell...happy birthday!!!!!

having twins in a couple of weeks!!!!

xoxo

a happy christmas eve and a merry christmas!

2009-12-25T00:01:00.004-05:00

i'm sitting her listening to burl ives sing on about dreaming of a white christmas...alone, no lights except for those on our beautifully trimmed and illuminated tree. two babies dreaming of santa, a tired mama and daddy, and umo joe joe, and auntie heather all snug in their beds too!

it's quiet and santa has just left his goodies under the tree and it looks beautiful and i can't help but with that every baby and child and have a sweet, innocent, happy, warm christmas.

tonight, we had our family here. we had friends here too. it was a magical night. it was loud, chaotic, and perfect. we were all cooking, making, baking something. sito was begging for tomato paste, heather was making minature fig crostini masterpieces, and jeff was at the grill! it was wonderful. it really was. i stopped at least three times and felt truly grateful for what i had in my home tonight.

excitement was the underlying vibe of tonight. that and lots of laughs and lots and lots of love.

having gramps here is always a treat and having the rest of jeff's family here has made this first christmas we have spent home...memorable and very special.

i miss my family so much this time time of year, but having family here helps so much!

jeff's mom, my mother-in-law made a traditional middle eastern feast and it was sooooooooooooo good!!!!! she is such a great cook and she foes with it ease. we love you linnie!!!

brett read our kids the night before christmas as is tradition in the darwish home as is in many other homes all around us. we checked the radar for the 50th time to track down santa's sleigh and last we checked it was in bangdaleshm, so dressed in our new christmas jammies tucked our babies in for a long winter's nap... bc everyone knows that santa gets here faster when we sleep.

for now...i want to wish everyone a merry christmas. this was a great year with so many wonderful memories and experiences and much of it comes from this blog and the friends i have made from it.

peyton finally put the star on top of the tree...

umo joe joe thought santa would like brown sugar pop tarts this year!!!

happiest she's looked in a long time going to bed...:)

enjoy your family today. we'll be living the magic through our children.

with lots of love and merry christmas,
heidi

december fun.

2009-12-09T02:37:00.002-05:00

so much to write about and share. nothing especially new or exciting, but i've been busy doing things that are fun, but just the same, i have been keeping busy with pictures, deadlines, and stupid stuff that doesn't really matter. yes, i said stupid stuff-like a 5 year old who is annoyed and doesn't have a better word for tired, fed up with rudeness, missing...my kids even though i am with them most minutes of the day---.

i need to learn how to balance. i think i am coming along with it though. i'm not complaining bc i simply love and adore what i am doing, but i today i want to bake something that will make my house smell delicious and inviting. i want to cook a french meal because beoeuf bourguignon just sounds...divine, right?

i haven't had it, but it has red wine, cognac, fresh herbs, and mushrooms infused into it. yum. i can't stand this need to make something. i want to hang white lights and host a dinner on the rooftop of some building in a downtown area where i can hear the commotion of the world below but drown it out with the sounds of the people i love. red wine fits into this fantasy too!

okay, so maybe i've been inspired by a movie, but who cares. inspiration is everywhere. i love that about life.

i feel blessed and tired all at once, but i'm pretty sure that is allowed, especially this time of year. i've vented and i feel better just like that:)

off my weird euphoric food tangent and on to the things that we have been doing and how much we have to look forward to this month! first off, our family is coming here for christmas!!!!

for the first time in our whole lives, jeff and i and the kids will not be traveling home to michigan this year. the economy plays a small role, as really, we just want to be home this year. to celebrate chrsitmas morning and eat our tradtional christmas morning, and super special, breakfast at home at our kitchen table.

sadly, the closer we come to the big day, i was becoming a tad sad that we wouldn't be jeff's family...but they decided to travel here along with jeff's brother and his fiance, heather!!!! excitment is an understatement.

peyton and i went to chelsea's birthday party last week...i can't b these babies are five years old now. peyton and her little group of girlfriends met when they were all 6 months old at my gym. these babies are growing up so fast that it makes my heart overflow and hurt at the same time.

her mama hosted the sweetest party...and the colors inspired my little camera to snap away.

the birthday girl!

as a family, a couple weeks before, we visited 3rd street for the tree lighting and to dance in the snow...

auntie hi-o sent another beauty in the mail...

peyton's smile at the front door, when she learned it was a package for her said it all...thank you, auntie heather for being so thoughtful and loving peyton and becks as you do! we love you. miss you too!

and to end this little post...a sneak peak of our christmas shoot! i just love this shot of the two of them. i think i snapped it right as p eye's were closing OR maybe she was soaking in her baby brother's love. hmmm.

i have some rediculously funny ones as well. i'll share those later.

xoxo g'night.

beauty.

2009-12-01T01:38:00.003-05:00

as the season progresses at what seems to be lightening speed...i can not help but feel thankful for so much in my life and in the lives of my family. when the days seem long and full of work, i am comforted at night by the fact that we have so much. we need so little. i am so happy and grateful for what i get to call mine...these babies that never stop amazing me, teaching me, and loving on me.

the comfort and security of our little piece of this world...my home... that twinkles with the lights of my tree that illuminates the homemade ornaments stuck together with a surplus of glue, glitter, and macaroni.

...tarts that send waves of christmas wreath and mistletoe through the house- courtesy of yankee candle via bed, bath, and beyond. at two bucks a pop...they are worth every dime!

old movies and candles.

christmas music....baby, it's cold outside makes me want to host a high class dinner party nightly. it just does.

my camera and these photos of cousins...spencer, sophia, and little griffin. i love these little ones and i just adore these pictures...

my fave photo of the session i think. sophie's face and griffin looking on. i just wish i knew what they

were talking about...ADORABLE!

and although we were quickly running out of light...we captured the day. the fun we had. the adventure in trying to keep three little ones

clean, happy, and smiling! they did an awesome job and i am so proud of them.

and after the glitz...

jenn made us homemade pasta...chopping and dicing and laughing and nonstop talking...and this was all after our hour long ride

historic ft. myers. perusing old homes, loving, wishing, dreaming of a "someday, we are going to have a wrap around porch!" yup. it will

happen.

i was so getting into this photographing food thing...i swear it was really fun!

while the noodles simmered, i went outside to cut some fresh rosemary out of the yard...nothing like fresh herbs...

i even took some home!

jenn rocked out this garlic, italian flat-leaf parsley, olive oil, sea salt, with fresh cheese pasta.

grandma would have been proud. delicious.

truly thankful for getting to indulge in a few of my passions that night...fresh food, photography, wine, and true friendship.

on another thankful note:

while singing peyton and beckham a lullaby tonight...hush little baby,

hush little baby don't say a word, mommy's gonna buy you a diamond ring...if that diamond rings turns brass, mama's gonna buy you a

looking glass... (i often make up words, so forgive if they are incorrect, but it's what i sang tonight.)

becks: no, mommy i want a ring, i don't want a glass. no. no. no. i want a diamond ring.

me: okay, sweetheart. you can have a diamond ring.

becks: thank you, mama.

peyton: i want a barbie ring.

becks. i want a batman ring. i want a batman ring, not a diamond ring.

me: okay guys, a barbie ring and a batman ring.

becks: thank you, mama (as he rolls over towards me, fits in the crook of my neck, wraps his little arm around the

other part of my head while i tried to hold peyton's hand all at the same time).

this is what i am most thankful for. not much else matters in moments like these. am i right? life is sweeter.

troubles melt away and i hear myself saying..."i'll stay with you here for just five more minutes!" inevitably i often fall

asleep...which is why it's best when daddy does the tucking in!

3. good pictures, bad pictures, and all that in between.

2009-11-21T17:27:00.004-05:00

while editing some of beckham's 3rd birthday pictures, i began thinking about the demands and expectations i put on myself. kgirl and i have talked about this like 100 times, yet i continually worry about the perfect pic.

before endevoring on an obsession with photography and turning it into a way to make extra cash and meet new people...i had a true hard core love affair with it. yes, i lugged my camera everywhere i went, and while that hardly made me a hot shot photog...it made me a person with a hobby. one that i loved to the point that i literally started feeling like an arm or leg were missing if i accidentally left it home one day, or decided to 'just enjoy' myself without it.

before aperture, iso, shutter speed and white balance. before photoshop, presets, and actions...i just took photos. i didn't care if they were dark, light, green, or blue. i just took 'em and i felt like i was the key keeper of many things so precious and important in the grand scheme of things.

yes, now i tend to look, scrutinize, compare each pixel it seems. i want all photos that hit this here blog to be looked at. 'approved' if you will. it's not that every pic on this blog is amazing or even good...but i will look at it and at the very least, i'll brighten it up.

sometimes, i wont' post anything for days because i don't think it's quality is blog worthy. i mean seriously, what is is that about? i have decided to cut the chains/anchor/whatever that holds me back from posting 'crappy' pics. in this sentence, crappy doesn't mean bad...it means...it may not meet a photographers standards in lighting or composition. it prob won't meet my own expectations...but i have decided that i want to look back in 2o years...and i'm pretty sure my future self would be all like, "dude, you should have posted more of yourself." "girlfriend, i wish i could see one more photo of all you guys in the pool!" pretty sure i won't care what color the picture is or was.

cause mostly, i think true beauty in a picture is simply what the picture in question inspires within you. how it makes you feel in five years. the in between beauty. that stuff that happens that i didn't mean to capture or could never have dreamed i would.

the in between stuff is what makes me smile at my computer after a long day or long shoot. it's what makes me think that a shoot that i thought could have gone better...turns out to be perfectly perfect for me. it's what makes me think i've hit the jackpot. a certain face, smirk, or look. even in it's blurriness where two eyes become one, but what is in focus is the smile. the happy, unposed, 'unleashed,' laugh. in the moment.

it's the in between stuff that rocks my world. the real stuff.

don't catch me wrong...i love me some posed shots at times...especially with little ones looking all editorial and miniboden-ish...that's pretty amazing too.

here a just a few...a sneakity peak of a sneak preview that i will continue in a few days, but i had to get these 'in between' moments in. i just love these little kids to pieces. i had to share some today. this was for christmas, but we rocked out some other shots too.

jenn, these are for you. i know you loved these downtown photos!

one of my personal in between shots...griffy goin' in for a kiss and i snapped it right before he did. i love sophie's sweet face...

more to come on these beautiful babies later.

on to beckham.

my baby turned three on us. i'm not sure how it happened, but it has. this kid has brought so much joy

to us. i just...thank god every single for his sweet disposition (okay, he's been a little mouthy lately, but i'm

sure that will pass, right?).

anyway, he is an amazing little guy. he loves his mama...he's protective and i can't believe that this little

one is so grown up now.

he looks after his sister, protects her from punishment, waits for her to wake up in the morning and when she does,

"PEYTON'S UP!!!!" as runs over to give a kiss.

he wants to be like daddy and his future plans are to be a golfer...or batman, but only if he can carry a sword too!

before those pics...auntie hi-o sent a birthday surprise for beckham. WOW, auntie heather. thanks so much...!!!!!

seriously, beckham LOVES his new drum set. we have about 10 beckham darwish drum show to attend a

day and we love it! with his new guitar to go with it, we have a band forming!!!! can't wait!

here are a few shots from his birthday. these are the pictures that make me smile. make me feel full and happy. the

house was overflowing with family. it was amazing.

i made an italian meal which i just find plain comforting in and of itself. the kids munched on breadsticks...often

running through the kitchen to grab another one for someone else. i loved how they were sneaking them off of the

counter...it was sweet!

these cousins adore each other and i know i have said it before...i could watch them interact together all day long.

it is special to watch them grow up together...

pogo stick that peyton has wanted since she was two, but it's not made for younger than 8, daddy scored at a garage s

sale for 3 bucks!!! her face lit up...

i'm pretty sure gido was stuck holding that thing up all night for the kids....thanks gido!!!!

griff, who is about 6 weeks older than beckham, just had his birthday as well. finally, b and g are acting

like buds. it's sweet to watch. i'm a sap for this stuff tho.

happy birthday, buddy!!!!

kids gather to help beckham open each gift...

we are so grateful for our family in florida!

when she finished entertaining us with her guitar music...kelle even gave us her version of project runway...pregger style!!! she rocked it out as usual...

matt & jenn rockin' out her new do...so european!

our sweet boy. he was so excited to have a party this year. i wouldn't have had one if he hadn't woken up in the middle of the night on

multiple nights to cry and say, "i want a batman party!!!!"

sisters catching up...!

my black light lit bats swinging from the ceiling...it kinda worked.

my fave shot of the night! i think kelle captured this one!!!

case in point...i love these pics for the memories they hold for us. for the times we will sit back and want to get a

little piece of this time back. we are so lucky. with all of life's bumps and hard times...it is wonderful to see the beauty

in such simple things.

sharing a meal with family, finding the joy in taking pictures, noticing how kids eyes light up when they open a gift and

all that's inside is a cup of playdoh...what is it about playdoh anyway. kids love it!!

laughing, sharing, enjoying the company of people we cherish so much. sometimes i complain about working to hard,

this house that refuses to clean itself, the laundry that never ends...

then i remember that these really are the best years of our lives...our babies are young and we get to see life through

their eyes. kids just get it. love learning from my little ones.

something else...what is it about this song that makes me feel like jerry macguire when he finally signs Kushman as a

client??? swear, this song makes me want to move to cali, sport those shorts and listen to a jay-z song...okay, truth be told i bought it on itunes

play it all day on my ipod. mind you, i'm singing it while in my pjs and doing the damn dishes, but hey, everyone should play their

badass song atleast once a day...it does something to ya-makes me want to do the dishes at the very least:)

like family and proud mama moments.

2009-11-17T00:26:00.003-05:00

last week, i had the oppurtunity to photograph a local real estate group...

they wanted fun, fresh, inviting,...

we got it. no, it wasn't my magic camera... it was my subjects.

they were the MOST fun group you could ever wish for as far as fun, fresh 'work' shots go. they are amazing people and by the end of the afternoon i wanted to work with this group and i'm not just saying that.

i can see why they are so successful and fabulous!!!!

thanks for making me laugh...i had a great time with you guys!

check 'em out...

Glenn Bradley Group

Coldwell Banker Previews International

550 5th Avenue South - Naples, FL

239.566.1115 - office

website: www.glennbradleygroup.com

couldn't find beckham the other day...

not sure why i found him sitting quietly alone in a suit case...but it was pretty funny...

and for more of our disney trip...

i am going to try to do a few posts in order of the trip. here are a few photos from the night we

at disney's animal kingdom... this place rocks. my. world. the girls started with room service and

then off to the bath.

and, the first of many gifts of the weekend...

movie night for the girls...

party time for the mamas...

we awoke pretty early with the surprise of the birthday fairies, but i'll get to that the next post. we dressed and

set out with big plans for downtown disney, but first we stopped to look at the zebras...

and then i went ballistic trying super hard to get that perfect cousin shot...i kinda lost it on my baby girls

silly-i-don't-want-to-sit-still-and-take-a-another-freakin'-picture-face...not my proudest

mommy moment, but hilarious when jenn and i relive the moment;0

i did catch a few cute shots though and here is one until next time...

g'night!

xoxo

doing it.

2009-11-13T18:11:00.002-05:00

decorating the christmas tree tonight. no picture. no cool story...just a little practice on how to post a comment without HAVING to add a picture. just a thought. a random little thought that i am pretty sure my future self would like to read in ten years.

who knows, maybe i'll think it was really stupid;0 that made me laugh.

at the end of a seriously long week. taking calls, meeting deadlines, planning a batman family dinner for my precious baby boy...i'm exhausted along with millions of other mamas.

what did the doctor order you ask?

phone off.

christmas music streaming through the house, brownies in the oven, and boxes of ornaments and knick knacks to pour over with every little memory attached....divine therapy. the ultimate medicine.

oh, and later i am watching a movie.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

new baby. sweet niece. my baby girl.

2009-11-12T22:59:00.003-05:00

i had the wonderful opportunity to take newborn photos for my neighbor and friend a few days ago. baby abigail is nothing short of a miracle baby and an angel to boot.

she is breathtaking and sweet. i have only done two newborn shoots so far, but this baby, by far has to be one of the easiest little bambinos to work with... like in the history of newborn baby picture taking experiences. she molded, slept when we needed her to, she was alert when we needed her to be...it was a wonderful experience.

my photog friend, kelle came along to love up on abigail and to help me with posing, soothing, setting up. i'll be honest...two photogs to one newborn baby is the way to go. i was able to get so many more poses this way...and it was way fun to work with my friend. kelle, you rock man! love you. can't wait to do it again.

next up is my adorable baby niece, evelyn. oh, how i love this little girl with all of my heart. she is

sister's baby. she is a little pixie, but has the biggest smile. she lights up a room and her cousins love

too!

i had the best time with this photo shoot. yes, we treated it as a shoot. we organized schedules, went

shopping for the perfect fall outfit, went to three locations...and all the work was worth it, because i could

eat these images off of my computer screen. she's like a little cupcake.

xoxo

a few more that i found from our fall trip to michigan this year.

more later, but for now...g'night!!!!!

disney world part 1 of a lot!!!!

2009-11-11T09:51:00.002-05:00

had i mentioned we were going to disney world?!!!

well, we did! our girls turned 5 last month and when i say our girls i mean, my little peyton and jenn's little sophia!!!

they are cousins and they love and adore each other to pieces!!! jenn and i have been dreaming of taking our little girls places since they were born or in the womb where we wished and hoped we would have girls together even though all we really wanted were healthy babies. boys were cool too! but we had baby girls and it was the happiest surprise ever in the history of...all my life...lol, not sure what i meant to write, but i'm sure you get it.

i have literally hundreds of pictures, but i am swamped this week with work, so i am posting part 1 today and will go from there bc i am having a ball looking at what we captured.

let me just say...it was MAGICAL! jenn and i had waves of chills, misty eyes, faces that wouldn't/couldn't stop smiling. it really was an amazing 'princess' trip, making us think about planning the next one.

we had the COOLEST room ever at the animal kingdom lodge... yes, we sprung for the better view in hopes getting to see a giraffe or zebra... at least once. HELLO!!! we saw them everyday. every single day we could look out our window and see a GIRAFFE, a boar, or zebra or 10 other things that i can't name, but jenn could 'cause that girl is a kid at heart. i have never seen an adult run like a bat out of hell in order to get to her room just so she could look out of our balcony window 'cause..."omg, they are going toward our room, run, run, run, omg...i think they are in front of our room!!!!!!" (eating jenn's dust as she sprints down the hall of the hotel with kids following and me...laughing my ass off.)

love that girl. she cracks me up. anyway...we immediately stood outside in the cold with the kids and marveled at the long necked animals and beautiful black and white striped creatures. it was so cool, we really felt like we were in africa somewhere. it was surreal. a perfect word for it...surreal. i half expected a dinosaur to round the corner and eat some leaves off of one of the trees. we felt blessed and lucky to be there and found ourselves saying that over and over throughout the weekend.

to say the kids were excited was an understatement...they played on the balcony, climbed bunk beds, fought over who was getting it, watched movies, and then ordered room service. it was fab and that was just the first few hours we were there the first night.

i have more to share...birthday fairies, shopping, photo shoots, burgers and wine at midnight, tons of laughter, a few tears and princesses, but for now, here are some photos and they are not in order.

these are from the day we visted cinderella's castle. we had lunch there and it was really beautiful inside.

our beautiful girls.

we love you girls... so, so much.

xoxo

pumpkins, batman, and sick babies.

2009-11-04T22:22:00.002-05:00

these are the best days of our lives as parents...i believe that and try to live each day knowing how lucky we are to be here, in this moment, with babies who want to dress like batboy, and his big sister who wants to dress just like him. these are the days that i see two little ones running around the house with capes flying behind them...making superhero sounds whatever those are. i know all parents feel this way, i just want to write about it, cause one day i want my kids to know exactly what i was thinking about one night in november...when they were just babies:)

we are lucky that we still have our kids in the house begging for candy, whining to trick-or-treating from the moment they wake up on halloween morning.

pumpkin carving and getting all the gross seeds out and then toasting them. peyton and beckham sprinkled the salt on and we enjoyed watching them toast in the oven. yummy!

this is the time of year i love to bake even though i am not a great baker...last week i made pumpkin roll...

it kinda sucked...

but it was fun to roll the pumpkin bread in a dish towel. i need a good pumpkin roll recipe so i can try again if anyone knows of one.

my baby was sick...

a nervous baby boy.

the crew.

then, finally the time is near. we enjoy friends... and family if we are lucky. we drink, eat hot dogs and chili with the same group of people each year and i take comfort and joy in knowing that we have a little family tradition going...one i hope lasts every year.

the kids visit their first house, beckham is a little scared of the scary decorations . he shields his eyes and runs to daddy...unashamed. just young and seeking comfort. peyton is a bit more independent and goes ahead with a buddy.

"trick-or-treat day is here, mommy!"

"i bat boy!"

finally, we are done and the kids run home to go through their treats...

stomach aches and tooth decay warnings go unheard as they tear into their candy not long after we frantically inspected each piece just like our parents did for us. we are the parents now. that little fact always surprises me...even now after five years of parenthood! i love it...even if it does make me a little old...in their eyes.

peyton says, "your old mommy. i don't want to be old like you. please don't get more old." :)

both kiddies have been under the weather so we have been trying hard to make our time stuck in the house fun. so we build castles, play dinosaurs, and make projects.

my boy...concentrating on his picture. i love how serious he gets.

next we play market...and i typically pay about a 'hundred four hundred dollars' for a banana. good deal i'd say. i pay about 5 more dollars for two 'cume-cumbers.'

peyton asked me why adults have to work so much at home today? broke my heart and made me realize how busy i have been. i promised her i would would work less because she and beckham are more important than anything...even work. she said, "no, mommy. don't stop working." when i asked her why, this is what she said word for word.

"don't stop working, mommy because your work is important to you." bless her little heart.

HELLO? i sat stunned as i listened to my little girl speak like a grownup. she amazes me and i learn from her so much everyday about being more present and living my best life. she reminded me what was most important and that even though i think i am just sneaking in time here and there...it is significant to them. and while i won't stop working, because i do love my "work" and it is important to me, i am more aware that they need me with them and i will take advantage of these young years. i will squeeze every last drop of little voices, mommy snuggles, castle building, dinosaur eating dinosaur games, book reading, craft making, cooking cupcakes, fun loving time that i have with these little ones. because before i know it...my babies won't want to play dinosaur games and fly arounf the house in their batgirl costumes.

xoxo

peyton, sophia, jenn, and i are heading to disney world this weekend to celebrate the girls' 5th birthdays. we are excited and anxious to begin this trip we have been talking about since we became pregnant and planning for years. we have carefully planned out each day and can't wait to meet the princesses and especially go the castle for lunch. i will post pics later!!!

mama's, babies, and footballs.

2009-11-02T11:33:00.004-05:00

this post is for some pretty amazing mama's that have been patient in waiting to see a sneak preview of their sessions. i did a few at once because i have been working like a good little elf in order to get these done for...

CHRISTMAS MAILERS!!!!!!!

i love me a good christmas mailer and i love saying christmas mailers instead of cards...it makes me want to say something like, " the mailers are done, now all i have to do is take them to the post!" a little bit of the little women for me to get me in the mood for christmas...not that i need any help in that department.

jeff and i decided to decorate early for christmas this year...maybe next week...just sayin'...the darwish's love them some holiday cheer!!!

first family is an old friend from school! it was so nice catching up and walking through old fields to find the perfect spot for the family photo the mama had envisioned in her mind last summer when she first asked me to these...

lydia was the perfect model and loved posing and having fun in front of my lens. she made my job a breeze!

next family was about rained out due to about 24 hours of non-stop rain. i had three shoots this day, we had

to cancel two, but we were determined to get just ONE good photo for christmas...what happened was pure

magic because i have about 100 photos i could post here. most of these were taken in the rain...mom was

holding an umbrella over her beautiful boys for the most of the shoot.

it was rainy, gray, gloomy...but these boys are amazing and made these images come alive. seriously, they

kinda make me want another boy.

such a great time! xoxo

next is beautiful little kate...i photographed her newborn pics and this day she was so alert, i just love how she is looking

right at the camera!

baby marley is next!!!! lovin' on those eyes right now!!!

i ADORE this photo of marley and her mama!

hope all had a great halloween.

xoxo

puma weekend and a little edgy urban!

2009-10-29T12:50:00.004-04:00

i feel like i am finally catching up with shoots and work and unpacking and...so much. it feels so good to cross things off my list:) i have been wanting to post some pictures from our time in michigan, so hopefully every week i will get that done, because if their in one thing that makes me feel instantly better...it is knowing that i have posted memories.

i am so that girl that saves just about everything for the sake of a memory. yes, i save movie stubs, old pictures...even really blurring, crumpled ones where you don't know who is in the picture. i save diaries, old stuff from school like brownie and girl scout badges, old homecoming and prom dresses, old shoes...ugly ones. you name it, i save it and with the birth of of my two babies...it's only gotten worse. i save most of peyton's school projects and when i actually have a fight with myself...convincing myself i have enough...i don't need more, i feel guilty and almost usually pull it out of the garbage hang it somewhere.

my new way of coping/accepting is throwing things in the trash and then pouring something on it...like spaghetti sauce or something really gross like raw eggs or old sour cream;0 it works pretty well. then i'm feelin' all cool and proactive on cleaning up the clutter and then BAM, "(whiny, pained voiced) mommy, you threw away my project. why did you throw away my project? (big brown accusing eyes staring at me)."

"i'm sorry sweetie, i thought you threw that away. i'm so glad you found that bc i love it! (little white lie), i'm going to hang it up right here on the fridge!!!!"

okay, i'm officially on a tangent. all i really wanted to write was i want to post some pics from our michigan trip bc i know that my blogging has really suffered since starting my business. i love to do both and i really want to better document our family experiences. it's so important, bc regardless of how much you THINK you won't forget in a year, two years,...ten years-we will. we will forget the little tiny details of our days and i so don't want to forget all of it.

here are some pics of my sister-friends...we have literally grown-up together and we try to take at least one day a year to go somewhere and hang...actually we do this like twice a year. last year we did chicago. this year for out annual puma party (i think a puma is what a woman is before she is a cougar???) anyway we went to a vineyard in michigan, had a two hour long win tasting and then headed back to net's lake house to get ready to go out for the night. like always it was amazing. love you girls! my cam died three pics in, so as someone so nicely stated to me after i about had heart failure, "well i guess now you have to enjoy yourself!" ;0

baby bro is feeling a little under the weather. i took him to the docs yesterday to rule out the h1n1??/swine flu. they swabbed him up and said..."no swine flu here! just a common cold!" whew. then, i learned that kids 5 and above can not get the swine flu shot unless are considered high risk. peyton just missed the cut-off:( i am so one of those peeps that wants her children protected, but worries about the side-effects. i feel lucky that we have vaccines available to us, but at the same time, as parents we are forced with the decision of getting them done or not/guilt both ways/pros and cons both ways. oye. lOL i just wrote oye!

i spy two sweet babies mesmerized by the snowglobes...

even though i am finding it hard to escape the beautifulness of christmas...even at bed bath and beyond...!!!!!! we are getting ready for halloween!

two words:

BAT GIRL

another two words:

BAT BOY.

another few words:

head-to-toe HOT PINK LAME' for peyton...WT????????

as i started to hyperventilate while losing all hope that peyton would choose something a bit more...cute, i realized how happy Peanut Butter (peyton and beckham) were. beckham said, "i have a SUPER cool costume, mommy. i bat boy!!" he then put his hands up like superman and ran fast enough that his cape would fly behind him.

peyton, looked at me and said, " mommy, i don't want to be a mermaid, i want to be bat girl with beckham!" she then gave me her best superhero pose...both hands on hips and she was workin' her stand to boot.

three more words:

i give up.

it is officially over for me. a ladybug one year, cowgirl, and then cinderella and tinkerbell last year...i made the choice the couple of years, went along with her choices last year but she still wanted my opinion. it's all over. no apologies, she's batgirl now!!! i admire her choice making with conviction skills-something i lack:)

they're so excited and i am so excited for halloween.

beckham kept saying this over and over last night, "this is my trick-or-treat day costume mommy. ye-yaaa!"

now on to a wonderful family i met and photographed for the first time last summer. caterina and her beautiful little ones are a joy to spend time with and easy to photograph. this gorgeous mama is starting a new chapter in her life and wanted to start it fresh with new family pictures. she recently moved to an urban downtown area outside of detroit.

she was not familiar with the downtown area, but i asked her if we could do some edgy urban shots and that i would find the location (with my sister, heather's help cause girlfriend has a cool apartment in the same town) and we would have some fun!!! she was all for it and then thanked afterward saying she never knew she could have so much fun in an alley (or a three!!!) welcome home, caterina. you are an amazing person!!!!! xoxo

xoxo

have fun and be safe this halloween!!!

happy birthday to my sweet friend, jenn!!!!!

you make 30 look great!!! i love you!!!

colors.

2009-10-26T10:54:00.002-04:00

oh how i love the colors in michigan in the fall. we are welcomed around every turn at nearly every streets end that winter is coming...with each leave turned and then fallen...i am reminded that the bitter cold is fast approaching and then i...feel really, really lucky we live in florida!

yes, i miss the cooler weather and the need for a constant cup of hot chocolate, but oh-my-goodness it is dreadfully cold there and so after i return from our beloved michigan-daily visits to the orchard-crunchy leaves-hot mulled apple cider-family-family-and more family, i am happy to be home. i write this looking for the negative of michigan so as not to fall into a puddle of missin'-my-home-depression...and guess what its working!!!!! it helps that i was welcomed home on saturday with cooler weather, less humidity, and the promise of a naples sunset beach visit.

i am so looking forward to spending christmas here this year...the first time in my WHOLE life, i/we will not be traveling to michigan for the holidays. money is tight and the tickets are about our whole christmas budget, but more than that...we want to be home. we have been traveling a lot this year and we long to make a happy, santa loving oasis of calm and fun. i almost can't wait for thanksgiving to be over so we can focus on my favorite holiday of the year!!!

i'll slow my roll...thanksgiving is pretty great as well:)

it feels good to be home, sitting at my computer, kids are singing together (peyton has made her own version of the mocking bird song), blogging, making plans to go outside for a walk, and then i'll make dinner. i'm a bit in the weeds with photo shoots that need some lovin'. many families are anxiously awaiting their photos and i am diligently working to get them out in the time i alotted myself. more importantly, i'm having fun and being home feels peaceful.

i hear beckham laughing with his sister. he adores her. mimics what she says, does what she does. he looks after her. he even gets upset with me when i punish her-hate the word punish.

he is the sweetest, most loving little boy. we look at him on a daily basis and say to each other what a good boy he is. his 50 "i love you, mama!" melt my heart and make we wonder how we ever didn't have him in our lives. was life any good before these little ones making us love more, laugh harder?!

peyton is just as sweet and FIVE. she never lets an oppurtunity pass that she doesn't remind us that she is a big girl now bc she is five. "i can drink pop now." "i can do whatever i want now bc i'm five." (this is daily with her brother, but stopped saying it to me after i told her i didn't care how old she was, i'll always be her mother and that for right now, i am the boss!) so sounding like my own mother...hate that. "mommy, since i'm five now, i'm going to kindergarten!" yes, we hear lots and lots of "i'm five, so i can ______ now!" turning five really did go straight to her head:)

my little poser! she is so funny.

i tried very hard and very long to put these into a collage...i miss doing my collages, but photoshop and i are having an

realtionship issues right now. i can't figure it out and i'm ready to break up with the big guy and go back to my

handy dandy microsoft digital image suite. i miss you mdis!!!

and as sweet as pie photo shoots go...baby girl savannah is turning 1!!!!! her mama wanted to have her photos taken to

mark the event and we had such a good time. even though it was cold and raining outside, baby s was a sport and we

captured her and the turning leaves with all of their beautiful colors!!! enjoy and happy birthday savannah!

xoxo

fall.

2009-10-21T01:26:00.003-04:00

i could go on and on about how much i love being here in michigan in the fall...but that may be a little redundant seeing as i think i have written it four hundred thousand times. but...i just have to say that this trip home has to be one of the most fun to date i have ever had here.

family time, the weather, the time we have, the shoots, and all the learning i have been able to do in the last 8 days has been a true blessing and i am grateful. so grateful. i think i mentioned before that i attended a workshop for few days in grand rapids, mi at the very beginning of this trip...holla!!! AMAZING! i really have wanted to write, reflect, and give lots of amy wenzel lovin' up here on my blog, but i have been eternally busy this entire week, so that rockstar post will have to wait until next week:(

however, i do have lots to share and the first thing is...

we love michigan in the fall.

lol, just kidding, however here are some photos from our last visit to the apple orchard. we go just about everyday, so i just chose a few and here they are...

we go leave hunting...

we try to get beckham to smile for the camera...

we eat lots of sugared and spiced up donuts...

we ask mommy to take pictures of our heads in painted pieces of wood...

we find worms...

we try to kill the worm...

we talk about how baby girl is turning five soon...today. we talk about how mommy loves that she is

getting bigger and is so independant, but how she wants her baby to be her baby forever.

happy 5th birthday, peyton mae!! we love you forever.

i had to ease in on that one, more on this big event later!

other things keeping me happily busy is my photography. i am having a blast and loving doing it more

more with each passing photoshoot.

with that said, i was asked to photograph trenton!!! an adorable little boy who loves his mommy so.

he loves her so much, he along with his grandma, and auntie are surprising his mommy with photos...

photos of trenton.

i had a wonderful time with him and with grandma barb!!! it was cold out, but he was a trooper...as long

as we promised matchbox cars and playtime afterward

another family i had a chance to meet and have fun with is the fuerst family. they were so much fun and

such great troopers...it was FREEZING the day we shot. the poor kiddies! they did so well and in the end it really

was a fun session.

michelle your so fun!!! thanks for making my job so easy!!!!

well, i am off to strategically place some balloons around the house for my peyton's birthday breakfast.

much love.

i'm here!

2009-10-16T10:08:00.003-04:00

you know when you have a sink full of dishes, ten loads of laundry cluttering each corner of the house, last nights spaghetti sauce crusting itself on the shiny part of your stove top, kids screaming, the shower is SCREAMING your name, floors are crying for a mop, and your house looks like fao schwartz from all the toys strewn about???

you look around and just can not decide where to start and in my case and experience...i, will a.) will look around and make a mental plan (okay, heidi start with the area that a guest may have to bear witness to should they decide to drop by- love people dropping by by the way even if my house does look like grey gardens). b.) call a friend who i know would happily and without a drop of guilt leave her own mess and join me for a target trip or a starbucks (i'm not mentioning any names here!) or c.) take the kids to the park, do a craft, go take some pictures cause lord knows girlfriend will find any number of things to do before doing what she should. that's me.

anyway, the purpose of this post is to give lame excuses as to why i haven't blogged and i thought if i just did one little post...without pictures...just a few lines about what is going on...it would break the ice, open the door, make the task a little less daunting. so here i am. much like my dishes...tons to do, but if i just do the big pans and soak the others till tonight...i did get something done. i can leave the house knowing i made a difference in my mess and i will surely finish it later "when i get home!"

after all, i am so one of those people that think the opposite of, "why put it off for tomorrow, if i can do it today?" is that it...maybe not but i think it's close. heidi's new motto..."why do today what i can put off for tomorrow?"

(k, now's your chance-turn away:)

the sun is out. we are in michigan and it is fall. beautifully crisp and cold and the the air smells like the only thing it does smell like in michigan in the fall ...like caramelly, waxxy, sweet, yummy leaves. and they crinkle when you walk on them. they sound delicious and it takes me home.

we are bundling up as this is the coldest i remember october being here in a long time. i hear lots of complaints, but i am adoring this weather. we layer and layer our clothes, we slide on our uggs, brace ourselves for the cold and make an almost daily trip the apple orchard...cause that's what i do in the fall...drink hot apple cider and eat sugared donuts. we chase the bees away and feed the ducks. the kids squeal with delight and eat themselves sick.

i remember what it was like to be a kid when our parents would take us to the real deal cider mills and we would anxiously watch as big hot bins of oil cooked and crisped up our homemade donuts. i seriously could go on and on, but i won't because i am sure that since i opened the flood gates...i will post about pumpkin patches and apple butter on my next rant.

on the next post, i will post a few pictures from the photography workshop i attended last week in grand rapids, mi. OH MY GOSH...it was the most fun and i learned so much and was so inspired by the beautiful work of amy wenzel. she is a wonderful person and i can't not say enough about her generosity and relentless talent. amazing.

i will so talk her up next and post some of the photos i took at the workshop of all the beautiful models, the people i met,and how we didn't stop talking shop the whole we were there and how i loved it all.

wish i could post a pic...but i am still learning this mac thing, so i will post some later...i hope.

xoxo